h a l f b a k e r yThis would work fine, except in terms of success.
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OCD's
If you have the order, we have the disorder. | |
Your food will come to you exactly as
you ordered it. You do have to order
it exactly as it is written on the
board.
How do you want your fries
arranged? It matters to us.
Do you want ice cubes in your drink?
How many? When would you like us
to add them?
Burger first, then
cheese, next
lettuce, tomato, 3 pickle slices,
mayo, ketchup, mustard and of
course the bun. You can always
count on that. Our staff labor so that
each food item will look *exactly*
like it does in the picture. You will
have to stand in another line if you
want modifications.
Everyone has a job. You want a
straw? We have a person who only
hands out straws. Please take one
anyway.
Our dining area is spotless and our
kitchen always passes inspection
even on surprise days.
Our bathrooms are even cleaner.
Don't mind us, we are always
cleaning them.
If there is any way you think we
should improve fill out a suggestion
card, print please. Then fold it twice
with the writing on the inside before
placing it in the slot. If you can't do
that you aren't the target market we
are trying to reach.
Our hours are from 6:03 am till 18
minutes before The Simpsons comes
on. Everyone should have enough
time to watch The Simpsons.
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Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
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BBC 2 have stopped putting The Simpsons on at 6pm.
Twats. |
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I love it except for the Simpson's bit. Croissant anyway. A very specific shade of golden brown. |
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It should all come perfectly shrinkwrapped. |
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What happens to those people that stand at the counter going, "Um... uh... what's in the Psychosis Burger? What are the Schizophries like?" |
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I don't understand people who don't like "The Simpsons." It is one of the most inspired TV shows in recent memory. |
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I like the idea, but I have a feeling that if you implemented it a single order of fries would cost USD $42.50. |
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This is a theme resturaunt, not a fast food joint. |
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They might let you watch though? |
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That's a bit severe [bliss] - I would have thought a good clean would suffice. |
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You'd have to wash your hands 23 times and then stand in a prescribed spot on the other side of a pane of immaculate glass from the food preparation area. |
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This has not received the attention it deserves. I am quite sure the floor would be smooth screed, and any cracks or lines immediately remedied. Legal tender will be laminated and change given in hermetically sealed bags. Gloves (for patrons and staff) are *not* optional. |
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This idea is ready to be implemented. They even have someone for the ads, Adrian Monk |
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I love this idea, though I think sandwich assembly should be done by robots, as who else could guarantee the accuracy. Also both the utensils and the hands that hold them could both be completely sterilized between sandwiches.
PS Purchasing would be a horror.. a yes, I need a gross of 27mm diameter 3mm thick waffle cut single batch dill pickle slices... |
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Their mascot should be Obsessive Compulsive Detective Adrian Monk.
[+] edit: oh wait, Keith just said that. |
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(for the extra picky, there would be a self-serve counter with perfectly portioned pickles, pick your perfect peck) |
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Why stop at sandwich assembly? you simply automate the entire thing right down to the patrons... press this button for this burger... and on drive-thoughs "operator please" is the way to get the only person on the joint.
It must all be perfect, right down to the robots shiny metal... |
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I actually had a dream once that I went to a fully automated McDonalds at four in the morning. When the computer couldn't understand my order an alarm went off signaling a sleepy worker from downstairs. |
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I want my patty served at precisely 120 c with the cheese slice melted to sag 7 mm below the top of the bottom bun. |
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