h a l f b a k e r ycarpe demi
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Most cocktails involve a mixing process, which usually takes the form of some ridiculous shaking antics using a metal or glass flask. It's tiresome and in need of a more dramatic alternative. This is why I have created The Nunchuka Cocktail Bar.
At The Nunchuka Cocktail Bar, mixing shakers have been
replaced with a substantial set of nunchuks and an expert at whirling them around.
These are not the ordinary nunchuks used for bashing people's brains out, but are in fact two substantial hollow cylinders with leak proof screw on caps. Once filled with the constituents for drink mixing, the masterful bar person begins an elaborate routine with the nunchuks involving many movements, such as those made famous by Bruce Lee, especially in Enter The Dragon.
At the end of the routine, the caps are unscrewed and the resulting mixtures ceremoniously poured.
Note: as an added benefit, unruly drinkers will also be deterred from any nefarious behaviour at the sight of the nunchuks being so deftly wielded.
Bruce Lee
https://www.youtube...watch?v=Dj_O7ofphFY
your drinks are now mixed and ready for serving [xenzag, Oct 08 2022]
[link]
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It sounds great to me, but according to wikipedia there are lots of laws regarding possession of Nunchuks. In particular:
"In England and Wales, public possession of nunchaku is heavily restricted by the Prevention of Crime Act 1953 and the Criminal Justice Act 1988."
So you'd have to be super careful. |
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//Maybe a pair of giant conkers instead?// |
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Ah, sounds like you'd prefer your bartender armed with a Meteor Hammer. |
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That's why the idea states: "These are not the ordinary nunchuks.....but are in fact two substantial hollow cylinders" Please try to keep up. You do know what substantial means? |
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Could use sleight of hand, the bartender pours your drink into the chipmunk or whatever this thing is called, a secret valve drains it into an under-counter mechanical mixer, then the bartender struts his or her funky stuff. Then she or he returns to the bar and sets the sasquatch or whatever it is called down (exactly in the right place) and does something distracting like ostentationusly choose a glass and wipes it or something, while the now perfectly mixed drink is pumped back up through the secret valve into the nutcracker (I don't think that;s what its called but its something similar). Then finally the bartender lifts up the nuthatch (sp) and opens the lid and pours out the perfectly mixed cocktail into the glass. |
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//Skinny nunchucks wouldn’t have room inside to shake around normal ice cubes. Smaller bits of ice or even crushed ice would fit, but would dilute the drink.// |
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So for a while I lived with a friend and we got into making cocktails and ... well, it seems like there's lots of lore around them... and I developed the strong suspicion that most people's mental model of the situation doesn't match what is actually happening.
For example, I've been told numerous times that carbonated alcoholic drinks will make you drunk quicker "because of the bubbles". I was confused by this, because the gas always seemed likely to be irrelevant - you're just going to burp it out. Maybe gas in the stomach, or the burping mechanism would increase the intoxication effect, or uptake rate? Actually no, it's the increased carbon dioxide content of the liquid which increases alcohol uptake.
You might argue that in that case it could just be sloppy language, and after all the fizzing nature of the drink is a good proxy for the imbiber becoming inebriated more quickly. But it's still technically wrong; the bubbles have nothing to do with it. |
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Often, this sort of thing, or perhaps tradition, mean people do things in a manner which could be described as sup-optimal (for example, swirling vermouth around in a glass and tipping most of it away, rather than just creating a stock solution of, say, 1% vermouth in gin).
So it is here. Yes, smaller pieces of ice will melt more quickly and efficiently. However, the cooling provided is effectively proportional to the volume of ice melted and hence water added to the drink. If you want to use smaller pieces of ice but get the same amount of cooling, simply add less ice to the mixer (add the remainder to the glass - as larger chunks if you want the same cooling profile over time), or just agitate the drink less. |
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So, there's two basic styles of cocktail shaker out there. There's the Boston shaker, and the cobbler shaker. The cobbler shaker is the one most home mixologists use because it requires the least amount of skill. That's the kind with the pop on strainer and cap. The reason you don't see bartenders use them is because they're a lot more time consuming to use, having to do all that screwing (giggity). What you're proposing is essentially TWO cobbler shakers chained together, which means it'll be twice as time consuming and that much more difficult to clean. I can't see any bartender ever using something like this. |
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ON THE OTHER HAND, I can totally see this being a gag gift that every bartender will get 10 of at Christmas time, they'll get so many of them they hate the sight of them. Losers who like to show off to their friends at home will buy them, knock themselves black and blue, and either stubbornly stick with it long enough to get halfway decent at mixing drinks, or put it on a display shelf as a conversation piece. |
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Also, I don't think it will work as well as a shaker as you think, because the centrifugal force that gets applied from whirling about on a chain would prevent the liquid from sloshing around the ice as needed. |
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Completely impractical, and will never see commerical or professional use. Solid HB material right here! [+] |
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//Also, I don't think it will work as well as a shaker as you think, because the centrifugal force that gets applied from whirling about on a chain would prevent the liquid from sloshing around the ice as needed.// |
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I thought this as well - you are actually going to need to hit stuff with them.
Or work through a routine which involves more than just twirling them about. |
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The Meteor Hammer form would probably be better for mixing, both because of the more rounded vessel and because the longer chain would allow for better throw away/jerk-back motions. |
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Agreed, plus it's a more engaging show for the audience. |
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[+] - anything to get bartenders to be more theatrical. Cocktails are incredibly expensive; and never any better then a paper bag with a bottle of vodka inside. The more fire, smoke, and ninjas the better. |
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A paper bag with a bottle of vodka *and a little umbrella*. |
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No I would go the other way and dump the paper bag. |
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Then what will you use to hold the little umbrella? |
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