Nonapedal Wonder Fish

The device is a white, plastic asymmetrical menagerie of nine tubular legs extending out from a thin, horizantal body tube about six inches (for those using the metric system, that's approximately half a foot) long and bending down at a 95 degree angle to meet up exactly with various keys. The distance that legs extend outward is adjustable by means telescoping tubes (like a trombone). The distance that the feet extend downward is also adjustable but by a thread and bolt system, so their longitudinal position doesn't change without human interference. The legs join the main tube at lateral joints, so the pivot horizontally. Each foot has a small rubber pad on the end of it. The nine limbs are attatched to the body tube are arrnged in a seemingly random pattern. Two going straight down, four on one side going straight out, two on the other side and one on one of the bases of the cylinder. The two going straight down have longitudinal joints and have no bends in them, but their lengths are still adjustable. If that is too hard to imagine, picture it any way you want. The body tube rests three inches off the surface of the keyboard parallel to it, with a varied amount of legs on specific keys, supporting it (at least three).

This device is useful for holding down keys in starting up in a special way so you don't have to hold the keys down yourself. In the time when you would be waiting for the comuter to boot up and strain your aching fingers, you could have a cup of yogurt (for those on the metric system, that would be a cup of custard). Because the device itself is hollow, weights on hooks are added to the main tube to provide pressure on the keys.

For those startup procedures with two or one or less keys, where the structure cannot support itself, there are three additional, attatchable supports that arch magnificently out of the body tube and rest themselves on the table around the keyboard.

Enjoy your custard then go see what the hell you did wrong to your computer.