h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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At lunch today I noticed my children were happily playing with straws for their drinks. They would take the straw out of the cup, chew on it, blow at each other, put the straw back in the cup, blow bubbles in the drink of choice, etc etc etc. Then drama strikes! When one child put the straw in her
mouth a little too quickly they hit their gum with the edge and cut it open. Blood was on the straw and on the food (which was less then appetizing now) and in the child's mouth. Said child was screaming and crying which upset the other patrons of this esteemed establishment, e.g. fast food.
What was needed in this situation was a straw that didn't have a sharp, cutting edge. My impression of how straws are made is that the plastic is made in long tubes and a machine is used to cut them every so often. This leaves them with a nice sharp edge. If a little contraption could be added to this machine that would solder the tips of the straw, making them blunt, a lot of pain and misery would have been avoided.
(thick) paper straws
http://aardvarkstraws.com/
I know you're thinking "paper cut" now, but they're thicker, not sharp. Feels a little weird, though. Haven't had a problem with them falling apart. [jutta, May 07 2009]
[link]
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I hope you are getting an attorney and are planning on suing the extraordinarily negligent straw manufacturer. There hasn't been much good fodder since the guy sued the fast food restaurants 'cause he's fat. |
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A good class-action suit could force the straw men to add Barnezen Blunter technology to their machines. |
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Until that time, though, you could blunt the straws yourself with a clothes iron by touching each straw end to the bottom of the iron. Alternatively, you could manufacture a Baby Blunter slip-on straw blunting appliance to each straw end. |
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No, no suit. I like the baby blunter idea, but it wouldn't work 'cause the tip would get lodged in baby's throat and cause suffication. Thats just a hair worse then bloody gums. Don't know about you, but I don't nomally carry an iron with me when I go to McDonalds. |
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Maybe this will teach them proper respect for the straw. Straws are not objects to be played around with. Thats when accidents happen. I'm surprised there was no misfortunations occuring when they //take the straw out of the cup, chew on it, blow at each other, put the straw back in the cup, blow bubbles in the drink of choice// |
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Btu then you'd have to teach them proper respect for paper, otherwise they'd be getting paper cuts all over the place. Its a wonder that librarian isn't on the dangerous jobs list. |
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Paper straws suck anyway. But, only until they fall apart. |
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" Don't know about you, but I don't nomally carry an iron with me when I go to McDonalds." |
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Perhaps it is time to start. |
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Yeah, I didn't think about the choking hazard and I should have. |
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I have observed (but, never been injured by) the sharp edges on straws and assumed that this occured due to the cutting methods used. I suspect that taking the time to apply heat to the end would substantially increase the time/cost required to manufacture a straw. |
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A carefully applied flame might smooth the sharp edges. If so, you could maybe carry a lighter (or a double flaring tool). |
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For a mobile solution: an attachment for car cigarette lighters that provide the proper heated die for reshaping the end of the straw. Might even be able to attach one to a disposable lighter |
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Disclaimer: not suitable for use by those who benefit from it's use |
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Something tells me that more mishaps will result if patrons are pulling out hot irons or flaring tools in the McDonalds seating area. |
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[Wes], be honest now, you know you've never hurt yourself putting a double flare on a soda straw in a McDonalds. |
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something along the lines of a baby's rubber feeding teat on the end. qu'apla. |
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Lovely.. a Klingon teletubby. |
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did you expect something else? |
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McDonalds have some hot, fat ironing surfaces. Ask one of the outgoing servicepeople to do this for you. |
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Explain the consequences of the cash dump the last McDs felt when your innocent burst open a gum, lip, nare, or dimple on a beastily edged sissystick. |
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<Off topic to personal injury> Can anyone give the source of a little ditty that goes something like: "Staring through a knothole in my daddy's shed one day, I broke an eyebrow … on the pavement, the sidewalk. Sister, get the Listerine … (more) ". She started to tell me but we got separated. </Off topic> |
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