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Nobel Lies
According to two Nobel prize winners the acceleration provided by the car I want makes it safer in the context of this particular purchase. | |
This business would hire Nobel prize winners on a bid-award basis to make whatever claim is desired, limited exclusively to single-context claims. Higher bids can be used to obtain less probable claims, broader contexts, relevancy to the field the prize was awarded in and, if the bids are high enough,
actual papers.
Methods and materials for embalming jaundiced bodies
https://patents.goo...atent/US2576219A/en
[Voice, Jul 31 2019]
[link]
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We would like to hire Professor Schrödinger to endorse our range of cat welfare products. |
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Isn't this what they've always done? |
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"Nine out of ten dentists and doctors,
<cough> we hired <cough>
agree that Marlboro cigarettes are the number one choice for expectant mothers. Helps keep that trim figure... and lowers birth-weight! It's win-win!" |
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That whole doctor recommended lower birth-weight cigarette thing was part an actual ad once. I shit you not. |
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Hey, try squeezing a human out of your arse and then tell me
how you feel about lower birth-weight. |
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We consider that on this occasion, your choice of phraseology could best be characterised as "non-optimal" ... |
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Good idea, if you extend this to Linus Pauling’s claims about
vitamin C curing the common cold |
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I used to megadose Vitamin C as a teenager. I felt
great most of the time then, but I can't entirely
attribute that to the vitamin C. |
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You never hear oranges sneeze. |
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//juice is worse than regular coke// |
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It certainly is not. Juice has some necessary nutrients and a little fiber. It also doesn't have any embalming fluid in it. |
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We are informed by an unimpeachable* authority (The somellier at Chateau Buchanan) that a beverage which contains less than 10% of each of at least two different industrial petroleum derivatives is lacking in character, individuality, and something else that we didn't catch because at that point the alarm on his dialysis machine went off. |
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*Without the required majority in both the Senate and the House. |
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... then again, maybe "smellier". |
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