h a l f b a k e r yThere goes my teleportation concept.
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<Baby Jesus, on the Cross> I'll be back </bjotc> [+] |
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Excellent. Really inspired. I'd pay money to see a class of 6-year-olds enact The Matrix (Neo being the obvious Christ figure). Other possibilities are Robocop and Superman. |
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I'd go for religious stories re-enacted in the mode of particular films. So (and slightly mixing my religious seasons for the sake of effect), for example:-
JAMES: "Judas intends to change the future somehow."
PETER: "I guess, yeah --" (snaps his fingers as it hit him) "Oh shit!!"
JAMES: "Jesus."
PETER: "Yeah, gotta be! Jesus! Judas's gonna blow him away!" |
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<choir of primary school children>
"Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
SHAFT!
Ya damn right!
Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
SHAFT!
Can you dig it?"
etc.</choir of primary school children> |
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<Edges slightly further away from hippo> |
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Good Cop: Tell us who this Jesus guy is and what he's doing here
and we'll let you go Peter. |
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Peter: Eh, I'm tellin yous, I ain't gotta clue, a'right? |
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Bad Cop: Listen asshole, we gotta find out who this guy is or the
whole city's gonna fall apart, now sing! |
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Peter: Eh, what am I, a frikkin' wall here? I just told ya, I don't know
the guy! |
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Bad Cop: Oh, you know... uh huh, you know... now spill, before I fill
yer asse with my foot! You get me, sister? |
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Peter: What d'ya want from me? I got nuttin! |
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Good cop: Eh, this is our town, this is our pen, and round here,
we're the big rooster. |
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Bad cop: Yeah, I'll give you a wake up call, you ready? Cock a-
fucking-doodle-doo. |
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Officer: Sarge! Jesus has been killed! |
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Peter: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! |
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Mad TV did something like this, with the Terminator protecting Jesus, blowing away Judas, with Jesus healing him repeatedly. |
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//Twelve disciples... sounds like a drug ring to me...// |
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Yeah, my theory is that the story of the crucifixion was mistranslated. You know how people these days talk about "getting stoned" and "getting hammered"... maybe back then "getting crucified" was the equivalent slang. |
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"Jesus, my man! Where've you been? Haven't seen you since Friday!" |
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"Oh, dude, I got completely *crucified* that night. I mean, that was some good shit alright - I was sooo nailed to a cross... oh man..." |
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"Wow... quite a night hey?" |
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"Yeah, and the comedown, oh, it was bad - I was going through hell the next day or so, I tell ya. I was totally dead to the world on Saturday, I didn't even manage to get up 'til Sunday morning." |
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"You were in bed all that time?" |
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"Yeah - well, no actually, I woke up in a cave. No idea how I ended up there, man..." |
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