h a l f b a k e r yCogito, ergo sumthin'
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My sweetheart is 5 foot tall, with a high small waist and wears a 34J bra (all stock, no add ons)
Now that I'm done sharing, making some of you TMI'd and others envious, you will certainly understand that getting her into a wetsuit is not an easy matter. Off the shelf won't work, it has to be custom.
Enter
the Mummy...wetsuit. Multiple rolls of state of the art closed cell neoprene with "skin in" material on one side (this is the current gourmet material for high end wetsuits).
Starting at the ankle (she has booties and gloves), two rolls of material are wrapped around the calves and up the legs. Each roll of material has a trimline of male and female velcro on opposing edges/sides, so that the slightly overlapping layers adhere to each other.
When a roll's end is reached, a velcro ending tag mates up with the next roll. The entire body is wrapped, foot to shoulders, and then velcro secured. Voila, instant wetsuit.
Custom fit, unique for every user. One size fits all, modular, disposable, serviceable, for colder conditions purchase the heavier weight material or add a second layer.
Let's go get some fish...
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If you changed this up a bit, you'd have an Ace bandage wetsuit. You just need the velcro at the end of each roll, to adhere to itself or the next roll.
That would be nice because you could overlap more or less as desired. |
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If you try to overlap a constant amount, you are going to need the rolls pre-tapered and shaped--like a normal wetsuit. (Imagine a person in a custom, pre-formed wetsuit. Now scissor them out in a spiral fashion, add velcro hems and roll up the suit strips--that's what you have described.) |
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Neoprene Ace bandages is what you may have meant, I think. :) |
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Either way, a noble goal and a good idea. [+] |
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I don't think Velcro is going to stand up to much flexing
and stretching. |
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Can I suggest a simpler solution? Allegedly, some
rainforest dwellers make themselves "Wellington boots" by
dipping their naked legs into a vat of liquid latex and then
letting it dry. A similar approach, extended upwards to
the neck, would solve your beloved's dilemma. |
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There are a maximum of three possible problems with this,
but all are soluble. |
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Put a bias cut on the rubber such that the two edges
of each wrap come together like //. Pre-coat it with
an adhesive that bonds the stuff thoroughly. Wrap
the person with saran or something similar before
applying in order to avoid minor issues with hair
capture and the like. Wrap and away you go. |
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(+) I also would like to make a good suggestion.
As soon as one comes to me. |
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Hey I've got one!
No, that's no good. |
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Wait, yes.
Yes, definetly a suggestion. |
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These wraps are going to bind on the insides of your bendy parts.
Slip-on knee, shoulder and elbow sections would give your wraps something comfortable to wrap to. |
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Alternative that may be magic, figure out a way to incoroporate a low strength "heat shrink" element in the wesuit material. Make it oversized and then go over it with a hairdryer/heat gun on low and size to fit. |
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//you will certainly understand that getting her into a wetsuit is not an easy matter//
To properly understand this idea, I think we need some photos... |
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You could also add some supports to prevent future back
pain. |
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[hippo], I forewarned my sweetheart about the internet meme "tits or GTFO" - meaning it didn't happen if you can't post pictures. |
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I will see what I can do. As a rule I don't post images, a holdover from my predigital monochrome film days, and a selling point to my models back in the day before everybody could be a photographer. |
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I love you guys. Suggestions for where I can post such things to? |
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I have never posted to a chan, but you're right, it would be a place. I think I am supposed to have three images to begin a post. |
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Somehow I don't think this is going to catch on, but you never know. |
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This story has a happy ending - we found an off-the-shelf wetsuit that fits her well, a Body Glove 3mm. She attributes changes in sizing models to the increasing popularity of implants. |
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The loss of your ability to unwrap an attractive woman is a sad story, not a happy one. |
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Now I'm thinking of the next generation of closures - It would be nice to have the whole suit open up for donning, and some kind of magnetic press seals for closure. |
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//It would be nice to have the whole suit open up for
donning// |
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Provides some advantages to removal, too, does it
not?...and, thus, for the imaginative HalfBaker. |
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I've seen a nice full body white motorcycle leathers cut open as though the wearer was filleted - It was on the wall at a motorcycle shop, along with the helmet. There was a tire track running along the length of the suit, and matching on the helmet as well - the wearer had a rough day at the race track, and the paramedics took the quick way to get him out of it. |
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