I'm sure someone has had this idea before, but I cannae find it for love nor money *Warning - this is a wild assumption - I have neither attempted to purchase nor showered love on this idea. If you wish to test the assumption, please feel free.*
Grow a moustache into the shape of a curtain to cover
mouth (using concealed draw strings to close) for a whole host of slightly suspicious reasons. Dye moustache to preferred colour/pattern and add hem for support :)
1) Thwart the efforts of dastardly lipreading spies, intent on discovering your plans.
2) Indicate to a dinner host that you are full, and will pass on the dessert course (facial version of placing your hand over the top of a glass).
3) Synchronise moustache to music using draw string. Entertain children and adults alike.
4) Employ wild tugging of extended draw string to simulate a facial attack by a very small, and yet very hairy, creature.
5) Indicate irritation with a loved one by compulsively opening and closing curtains, in the same way a particular percentage of the population storm around the house after an argument violently rearranging furniture in the noisiest possible way (the CD album 'Angry noises for your angry moustache' will be available in stores by the summer).
6) Use moustache as a visual indicator that you have 'put your foot down' on an issue. Symbolic in that once the moustache is fully drawn, the mouth is concealed.
7) Use moustache as new 'prop' in the performing arts. Whereas in the past, baddies may have twirled their pointy waxed moustache while grinning, and goodies may have chewed on theirs in a down-to-earth, honest good guy manner, the thespians of the future will use their curtains in several 'maneuvres'.
- Slow and symbolically final drawing of curtain with eyes downcast to indicate sorrow, perhaps to mourn the death of a friend/colleague.
- Sudden opening of curtain with open mouth to indicate shock/surprise/anger.
- Sly twitchy semi-opening of curtain to indicate subterfuge of some variety.
- In fear, pointing out towards the source of danger, and quivering like an arrow in target (suggested by [friendlyfire]).
- Majestically sweeping open as a facial bow. Thank you and goodnight.