h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Improve a motorcycle's exhaust note with the
addition of a
bagpipe. The exhaust is plumbed into the bagpipe
bag,
and escapes through one of several "drones" or a
pipe-organ-like attachment with computer control of
valves on key holes to simulate playing. Additional
sound
isolation
panels
around the engine and manifolds ensure that
the
primary exhaust note is that of the bagpipe. The
speed
and revs of the motorcycle determine which of
several
preselected bagpipe songs the computer plays. To
maintain engine performance despite the restricted
exhaust flow, a turbo-charger is fitted to the engine.
An
add-on option is a third blower fan attached to the
turbo-
charger (in addition to the typical intake and exhaust
fans)
running from the same shaft, so that at high revs
this third
fan blows large quantities of atmosphere air directly
into
the bagpipe bag, for extra loudness, intended to
improve
safety at highway speeds by making the
motorcycle's
presence clear to nearby vehicles. Loud pipes save
lives.
Reversing Bagpipes
Reversing Bagpipes
As long as there's a clear distinction in tone between moped bagpipe acoustics and these fine warning sounds, there should be no problem. [zen_tom, Sep 17 2020]
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// Loud pipes save lives. // |
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Not yours. You're going to die for this, slowly and in excruciating pain. preferably something involving bagpipes. |
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<Braveheart voice> They may take away our lives, but they'll
never take our freedom!
<plays bagpipes> |
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Your life will be entirely sufficient, in the circumstances; all that remains is to determine the exact means of demise. |
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Immolation atop a pyre of bagpipes is a favoured method, but others are under consideration. |
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Better to have a vehicle with a loud engine noise run through a CVT or even generator/electric motor drive train so that the constant engine note provides the drone. Then the suggested exhaust blower (or better a PTO turbine blower) could be used the play the tune. |
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I see no reason why the handlebars or steering apparatus should not be fitted with finger pads or sensors to allow the driver to play the tunes as they roar along. |
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So, bagpipe pyre for two, then. |
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Doing anything with bagpipes that does not involve
destroying them utterly is just plain wrong. |
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We're going to need a bigger pyre ... |
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A much better idea would be for them to ride
around a wall of death carrying an orchestra of
rear facing passengers playing the bagpipes..... |
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Much, much bigger ... in fact, vast. |
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This is how you get tried for war crimes. |
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//This is how you get tried for war crimes// Oh come on, bagpipes are not that bad! |
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"And with that admission, we submit that the case against [pocmloc] is proven beyond reasonable doubt, and request that Your Honour passes a sentence of immediate summary execution without the right of appeal". |
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Several genres; the question being "Since when do bagpipes qualify as musical instruments ?" |
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Don't all of your children look just like miniature
bagpipes as they're running around, waving those
spidery limbs in the air? |
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