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As you enter through heavy curtains, the first thing you notice, is everything is black with dark red velvet trim. Evil chamber music plays over speakers, and behind a cobwebbed counter filled with flavoured sorbets stands a dead eyed staff member with a menacing ice-cream scoop.
Most of the flavours
revolve around themes of blood, coffins and eternal sorrow, served in cones with inverted crucifixes along the sides.
[link]
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The best selling flavour would have to be "Death by Chocolate" (+) |
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So instead of having my loved-one cremated, I can have them made into an ice-cream? |
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Do they do this for pets too? |
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Inspired by Monty Python, yes? The waiters are all dour little chaps with long black scraggly hair, and those tall cylindrical hats like Lincoln wore. |
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I can see the promotional posters now... |
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(Insert photo of a family in black, morosely consuming an ash-colored frozen treat) |
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Tasteful Funerary Services
Available At
The Creamatorium." |
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//Tiny shovels, instead of spoons. //
[+] As long as this is included. |
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And the ambitiously greedy goths (read: those fat ones) could take the "Netherworld Challenge" where they must eat multiple gallons of ice cream from a casket within a set time limit. |
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//Perhaps the chain could be called, "Everybodyscream"? |
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It's a sure bet I'd scream if I stepped inside. |
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You could have home delivery, but only if you live in the film noir home. |
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