Mission: HalfPossible

Establishing shot: Jutta walks though an urban park.

Sitting on a park bench is a very strange looking individual, wearing shoulder length luminous pink waders, a hat made of tinfoil with an orrery on the top, and carrying a combined internal combustion pogo stick, umbrella and pneumatic rock drill. This individual departs by being hoisted into the sky by a rocket in their backpack, leaving behind a very large package wrapped in brown paper and hairy string, which occasionally shakes and emits curious animal grunts along with a strong odour of Rentisham's Flenting Wax. On opening it, she finds a classic wind up horn gramophone, except the horn is made of liquorice, the case is made from thousands of carefully interwoven hairgrips, and the needle is a spine from a saguaro cactus, which would be OK except it's still attached to the rest of the cactus... On pressing the "Play" lever, an articulated arm pops out of a hatch at the back, winds the handle, plays the record with the usual message, "Your mission, should you choose to accept it ...", then pulls out a hammer and smashes the record..... but keeps hitting until whole device is smashed to the accompaniment of humorous metallic BOINGGGG noises. .

The task is then to assemble a team of halfbakers to execute the mission, depending on the skills needed....

Perhaps the job involves skills with weapons, or explosives ... plenty of talent just waiting to be tapped. Perhaps It needs empathy and gentle persuasion; [po] and [blissmiss], step forward. Perhaps the need is for is closely-reasoned analysis, in which case [Vernon] is your man. Perhaps the challenges ahead call for the services of an acerbic antipodean misanthrope ... well, no problem with that one... or maybe it just needs completely surreal, off the wall stream-of-consciousness flights of fancy. Well, cometh the hour, cometh the man - [Beanagel], take one pace forward.

The Mission HalfPossible team - coming to save the World. Soon. Quite soon. Well, fairly soon, we hope. Well, in the foreseeable future, at least. Maybe.