h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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One of the great problems facing vampires is shaving. Not being able to use a mirror, in the good old days they would simply ask Igor to lend a hand. In these modern times, though, who can afford an Igor; and now you'll freqently see vampires with small pieces of tissue stuck on their chins, or nasty
looking cuts on their top lips. Not what you would expect from a group that prides itself on always presenting an impeccable appearance.
Now MadCo has the way forward. A flat TV screen, complete with gothic black frame, and discrete TV camera. Everyone knows that vampires can be seen on TV! So far, so conventional. Vampire castles are frequently short on 3-pin sockets however, so the mirror has a a tailor-made power solution - an industrial grade surge protector, a few really good capacitors, and a wire with crocodile clips to connect to the nearest lightning conductor.
advirt. for synthetic blood
http://www.trubeverage.com/
HBO( home blood office )... what I found online, after [daseva]'s post [Sir_Misspeller, Jan 16 2009]
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Annotation:
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I'm all for it. It's not a pretty sight if one of them cuts themselves
shaving. Just
messy. [+] |
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Do you *really* see vampires on TV, or merely depictions of vampires?
Besides, you'd have to reverse the scan of either the camera or the TV for this to work as a mirror.
[ ] <- Vampire buns cannot be seen by the un-undead. |
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I always assumed vampires' beards didn't grow. How wrong I was. |
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Aagh! who put this bottle of garlic aftershave here? |
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It's not Vampires who employ Igors - you're confusing them with Rotwangs and Frankensteins. An easy mistake to make considering the lightening scorched gothic mountain-top cathedræ within which Vampires, Frankensteins, Rotwangs and all manner of assorted East European fiendery will tend to congregate. |
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But I will grant you that good Igors are few and far between these days - on the open market, three flinching hunchbacks might set you back a whole year's supply of goo - but I know this guy in Transvampyria who does them on the cheap, excellent quality - only partially leprous, and pre-trained to whimper, fawn and hobble in the most contemptible manner - he spawns, disfigures and trains them all himself - he's very dedicated. |
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hippo - quick wash it off with this holy water! |
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This idea is based on some bad premises - First, you can't see
vampires in video cameras, either, and second, their hair
always stays the same length as when they were turned. |
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If vampires shave, it grows back out in like, ten seconds.
And if you cut yourself, everyone in the coven wants to lick
your face. |
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Hey, I bet vampires would really get a kick out of a synthetic clear blood. It would make a sexy night out with their immortal other far less messy. Maybe KY could carry it. |
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Hmmm, do gay vampires have straight raisers? |
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Modern vampires generally use a nair-like product, or get laser hair removal. |
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However, even those on the cheap needn't invest in camera equippment. All they have to do is enchant someone. Everyone knows that vampires can groom themselves using the reflection from the eyes of their latest thrall. |
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