h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Or should you find yourself trapped in a Russian airport for a variety of possible reasons, most of which escape me at the moment.
Anyway, simply activate the microtome escape mechanism, you are shot with a tranquilliser dart, microtomed into thin slices which are then cooled rapidly, and numbered
with some degree of accuracy by a five year old with a purple crayon.
This is merely half of the service, of course. the other half is sneaking the slices on the plane under variety of disguises, being mixed in with batches of liverwurst, sashimi, anatomical samples and novelty mouse mats.
We completely deny any connection with mysterious disappearance of the North Korean defector and number of compliments on how good the inflight meal was on flight 706.
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Annotation:
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Side benefit - the slices could be examined under an
electron microscope to assure you are carrying no
contraband. |
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unless you were smuggling very thin contraband... |
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I'm working on the company song, which starts like this (ahem) "I (didn't) leave my my heart in San Francisco, but some of my pituitary gland ended up in a stir-fry in Hong Kong.." and so on. |
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I was agreeing to every stage but I had to cancel the deal when you said it was purple. |
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Couldn't you at least have offered an option of different colours? |
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Don't let the Daily Mail here about this. They'll see
it as a potential means of illegal immigration - thin
end of the wedge. |
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sp. Thin end of the Pole. |
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Aha. I can see how the Tesco version would fall at the first fence, sorry, hurdle. |
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There's a bun waiting if you can describe the reassembly process. |
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And there is a bun and mustard awaiting any leftover slices
which fail to assemble. |
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Technically speaking, it's not in the dissidents interest to re-assembled immediately as they'll just get extradited. |
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The plan is to set up a series of WikiFridge sites around the world, with a couple of slices in each. |
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Current upper limits for dissident storage are an abstruse calculation involving statutes of limitation vs Best before Date. |
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Auscan, put away that bun and mustard! It took me ages to get Mr X's pancreas back off the dog. |
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Apparently it has to be your own foot, too, which is kind of boring. |
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What if you've had a foot transplant? |
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Make sure you keep the old one, so you have an extra
to send. |
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(Does anyone know if a foot in formaldehyde is still
legal for being foreignly soiled?) |
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//Send a foot ahead. Apparently you need to set foot on foreign soil to apply for political asylum.// |
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I heard that too. I think I'd prefer for someone to send a bit of the country to me rather than the reverse. |
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//need to set foot on foreign soil to apply for political asylum// visions of desperate asylum-seekers at Heathrow or Dover, desperately scanning the horizon for an end to the concrete. |
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If they were to allow toeing the line, then you could apply in 10 countries at the same time. |
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I'm in favour of the foreign soils kit idea, with large soil samples, as standing on one leg gets a bit tedious after a while. |
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Brilliant! But... have any of your Beta Tasters... er, Testers... gained weight? [+] |
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// half of the service, of course. the other half is sneaking the slices |
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As you can see, there never was an intended re-assembly plan. I just provide the slicing, I don't go into the petty-fogging details of reversing the procedure*. |
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I mean, when you fill up the fuel tank of your car, do you then bother the fuel station people on how to use it up? |
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