Mediterranean Walking

Those who participate in Nordic Walking are easily identified because they are clutching two poles to aid their movement.

BorgCo physiologists have now developed, for the benefit of the lazy and unfit, Mediterranean Walking, which is very similar but requires almost no effort whatsoever.

Nordic Walking is normally carried out in durable clothing and footwear. Mediterranean Walking is practised in, well, whatever you happen to be wearing.

The technique is as follows:

Adopt a comfortable posture, be it standing, sitting or lying down.

Consume a large amount of inexpensive beer or wine. Food is optional.

Continue until consciousness starts to slip away.

Press the Speed Dial for BorgCo Mediterranean Walking Assistance Services.

Wait a short time.

When ready to start, reach up and take a firm grip on your two Poles*. Two Polish persons** will assist you to your feet, and place your arms around their shoulders. They then help you walk to their vehicle (your participation is optional) and gently lift you inside.

You are conveyed to your nominated destination and again assisted into the chair, bed, bath or iron lung of your choice.

Try it today !

* In emergencies, citizens of other Slavic countries may be employed.

** Following forceful representations*** from a Polish person of the female persuasion, we are completely and entirely convinced that, for the delivery of the service, both genders are equally capable.

*** Including the threat of the use of extreme and immediate force.