h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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I was a Japanese fighter pilot extra in the Pearl Harbor film, so maybe my thirst for the blood of the major actors comes from that experience (in which i only recieved 2 seconds of screen time).
We're used to the idea of major actors gunning down/chopping up hundreds of extras in our action movies.
It's about time we turned the tables, allowing minor no-name average-looking actors to annihilate dozens of major actors with ease in movie combat. This concept deserves a trilogy of films, where all of Hollywood's stars are marched into battle and turned into bloody piles of goo.
Joe Smith arms himself to the teeth. "Who is this guy? This is lame," you think as he rushes into combat. Suddenly, a dozen major actors crash through the window in dark combat gear. Arnold yells out his battle cry and lunges at Joe. Joe easily avoids the attack, sending the bottom of his elbow into the top of Arnold's head. The sound of bone and brain being crushed obviously indicates Arnold's suprisingly quick demise. Next!
Ben Affleck, Keanu Reeves, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, and Mel Gibson attack. Crack, Snap, Bang, Slice, Gouge. All five collapse dead in a few seconds.
To increase audience shock, allow all of the actors to give Oscar-deserving performances before they get whacked.
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Useful when one actor retires from a role yet the series continues, but I can't see anyone in showbiz going for it. |
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Minor actor go,
Major actors must die now.
You get a croissant. |
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hmmm. I wonder how big the budget would have to be? |
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A variation is found in many Westerns, e.g. The Cowboys, Young Guns, Star Wars and City Slickers, where the young (or younger) heroes, played by people with middling or little acting talent, have to take over and get into control when their old mentor, played by a good actor like John Wayne, Terrence Stamp, Alec Guinness or Jack Palance, is killed off. |
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I believe Sergio Leone planned something like this for the start of Once Upon A Time In The West, where Clint Eastwood and the other remaining heroes of his earlier Westerns were to die in a big shoot-out. |
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Anything that gives Tom Hanks less screen time is good in my books. |
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It reminds me of "Executive Decision" in which Steven Seagal, famed for normally never even getting a scratch throughout a film, dies after only about 10 minutes of screen time when the tube between the stealth bomber and the 747 that he's crawling through breaks up (Don't ask). |
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UB: He was crawling thru a tube from a stealth bomber to a 747 because there were nasty men on board and it's way too passe just to jump from one plane to another, and because producers thought it would be a clever gimmick to entice audiences, to kill off Steven Seagal 10 minutes into a film. The film's actually no worse than lots of other "Die Hard in a plane" movies once Seagal's out the way. |
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A similar gimmick was used in the Scream movies, with Drew Barrymore meeting a rapid death at the start of the first film, leaving a bunch of rather less charismatic actors to make it out alive. |
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Lightly toasted in The Alamo although, of course, the major actors got far too much screen time. Go Mexicans! Go! |
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King Kong versus Stuart Little |
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The John Major Story - very long and boring unfortunately... |
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I believe this was tried in the first Star Wars movie when the two best-known actors (Sir Alec Guinness and whoever that guy was who played Tarkin -- Peter Mayhew?) were both offed by nobodies. It could work. :) |
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How about the next Road Trip movie where there's an horrific car crash in the first 20 seconds or perhaps American Pie 3 which opens on all the stars tucking into a (unknown to them) salmanella laced pomme de terre de morte. Or perhaps, Speed 3 where the heroes 'total' whatever vehicle is featured (bus, boat, tricycle) in the first minute or so. Lovely... |
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Grand Moff Tarkin was played by Peter Cushing. Interesting that there's another Hammer Horror Film actor in Star Wars now; Christopher Lee |
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Samuel L. Jackson, too, early on in the movie "Deep Blue Sea" gives a rousing speech on how they all have to stay together, and then gets swallowed by a shark. (Can this idea be discussed without giving away plot points?) |
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This doesn't happen often enough, though. |
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'Scream' was already mentioned, but I have to point out Alfred Hitchcock's 'Psycho' as something of a prototype for this. Janet Leigh as Marion Crane, promoted as the 'star' of the film, gets killed in the middle of the movie, and it suddenly becomes a story about Norman Bates. |
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Doesn't killing off the main characters kind of end the film though? |
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Also baked in Point Blank. |
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maybe we should get away from death and end films in a much more down to earth way. |
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i.e oceans 11 is ended by all their mums clipping them around the ear and telling them to get home for their tea. |
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Damn. I was an extra in Matrix: Reloaded, and Keanu was within range too. I coulda chalked one up for the extras. |
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I was an extra in a couple of the Laurel and Hardy films, and I never managed to get even one of them... |
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