h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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A fairly hard cheese, similar to classic Cheddar in
appearance, flavour and texture, but modified
during the production process permitting it to be
worked (at low speeds and feed rates) on manual
and CNC lathes, drills and milling machines.
Similar to Acetal or Perspex.
Useful for prototyping,
cheap, and it's possible to
eat
both the swarf and the finished part (if
unsatisfactory).
Halfbakery: Cheese Annealer
Cheese Annealer
//workable cheese welding techniques takes this idea into realms of achievement as yet merely dreampt of// Further notions around the welding of cheese. Such cheesallurgical techniques might allow for a high-carbon cheese wedge to be placed between two denser blocks of cheese in order to better take and hold an edge. [zen_tom, Jul 17 2012]
Commercial comestible
http://www.google.c...v=onepage&q&f=false
[Phrontistery, Jul 19 2012]
The Spanish Inquisition
http://people.csail...spanish/script.html
You didn't expect this, did you? [8th of 7, Jul 19 2012]
[link]
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You'll need to employ watch-cats in the workroom to keep mice away from your prototypes. |
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Parmesan should fit the bill here. |
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I have a brand new kitty, Frisco, who would be
perfect for the job of mouse tamer. But his mother,
me, would probably eat all the profits. |
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"I know that the styling department wanted to show off, but their lightweighting efforts in prototyping have gone too far this time in demanding Swiss. The stress concentration risers are simply more than my bridge design can stand." |
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Parmigiano-Reggio or Frico Goat Cheese. NEXT! |
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Probably your best bet would be a young cheddar, kept very chilled. Most hard cheeses are to crumbly. |
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Mature Gouda has many of the right
properties. |
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<glances offscreen at Jabba the Cat> well... if the requirement is that _mice_ not eat the cheese... |
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Wait, did [blissy] just suggest that she dines upon mice? |
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She's from the West Coast, don't worry about it. Just another diet fad ... probably the Roman "Dormice cooked in Honey" diet. |
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This is an outstanding idea, and frankly I am
shocked that you didn't have it sooner. |
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Could I recommend Mahon cheese? It can be
bought in various grades, having a range of Young's
moduli. New Mahon is roughly equivalent to the
harder silicone sealants; the more mature stuff is
dense and hard, and roughly equivalent to
polypropylene. Further aging produces something
which is remarkably similar to Delrin. |
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Mahon cheese also posesses many other useful
engineering properties. It is highly isotropic, and
also has a very high work of fracture. This latter
property may be due to the presence of numerous
near-microscopic bubbles within the cheese,
which seem to act as crack-stoppers. |
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Recent experiments in the Buchanan household
have also shown that Mahon can be hot-formed. A
slightly higher temperature (such as a knife held
over a candle) can be used to tack- or seam-weld
the cheese, for fabrication or repairs. |
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Finally, the maturest of mature cheese takes on a
golden translucency. Thus, devices fabricated
from Mahon can include indicator LEDs which will
glow alluringly through several millimetres of
cheesy structure. |
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The possibility of developing workable cheese
welding techniques takes this idea into
realms of achievement as yet merely
dreampt
of. |
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Your next Nobel prize is secure, shirley? |
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// shocked that you didn't have it sooner // |
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But we did … it's just that every prototype so
far has mysteriously vanished, by a curious
coincidence at lunchtime. |
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//workable cheese welding techniques takes this
idea into realms of achievement as yet merely
dreampt of// |
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Ah, now this is that bit of the movie where the
Earthlings, struggling with reaction rockets and
simple alloys, defeat the hegemonizing swarm with a
technology developed by an underachieving
academic who "just has an affinity with cheese and
lasers". |
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Cheese would seem well suited to be adapted to the recent advances in solid "printing" processes which build 3-D objects layer by layer. No "swarf" ... Oh, maybe that's a disadvantage. :( |
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Cheddar comes in two colors, if you're not snobby about
orange dye. |
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I'm always worried that the bright orange shit that
Americans call cheese may be carcinogenic and
possibly mutagenic. |
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no but the aluminum they put in it causes Alzheimer's or something, I forgot what. |
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Strangely enough, elevated aluminium levels in CSF is
a symptom of Alzheimer's, rather than a cause. |
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Yeah, well, at least we have enough topsoil to grow carcinogens. |
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[Ubie], Orange Cheddar was invented in Jolly Olde
England, according to a tour guide in Cheddar Gorge. I
can't remember why because, uncharacteristically, I was
only half-listening. |
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As for the optimistically labeled 'processed cheese food
product', I've always kind of wondered about that myself.
Personally, I blame Eisenhower. |
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Don't be harsh on Ike … after all, when in
1944 he was served Brussels Sprouts at lunch
in a British Army canteen, he summoned
General Spaatz and immediately ordered
that hounourable, loyal and capable officer to
"Bomb the sprout fields !" |
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He had power, and he used it wisely. |
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Careful with the flying swarf, or some Gru(yèr)e-some accident might occur |
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I've seen soap bullets used against rats. I'm sure
cheese bullets would work equally well. |
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Yeah, but with soap bullets you get clean rats. |
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Alterother -- when processed cheese was first invented,
the mainstream cheese industry wanted this new and
different substance to be called "embalmed cheese." |
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8/7 -- I am forced to ask, from which substance would
you prefer to manufacture prototypes and products: real
cheese, embalmed cheese, vegan (soy?) cheese, or the
stuff from which "pasteurized processed sandwich
slices" are sliced? |
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//Careful with the flying swarf, or some Gru(yèr)e-some accident might occur// to Nantais, the machinist. |
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And a crowdie might gather round in the hope of helping to curé Nantais. A banon using roquefort engineerng purposes might then be imposed - a tragedy as the Sussex slipcote would no longer feta on the stinking Bishop, nor on Prince-Jean (who one day will roule over Caerphilly), since it can no longer be accurately cotija size. |
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'Morbier!', the Linconshire Poacher would shout, drowning his sorrows at the Schloss with the Grand Duke of Olde York. An itch develops in his throat: 'A-a--a---ackawi !' he sneezes loudly, and his top button shoots off, hitting the Rubens on the wall. 'That Vasterbottenost my shirt. I adelost it once before, but now it has beGammelost again. What a saga!' |
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It's a Roumy subject as no Lori know of says Chimay
Nokkelost technology, [8/7]. |
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You can Goya Annouais Tilsit's done. There Esrom for
all Swart of cheese ideas, Edam near admitted. |
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[goldbb], the starting point would be real
cheese; but it may be necessary to add other
ddairy and food products to achieve the
required mechanical properties. |
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Definitely not "cheese-flavoured savoury
food slice" or whatever tortured phraseology
required to comply with the requirements of
labelling legislation. |
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The additives would be those foods and
beverages that would not raise an eyebrow at
a convention of craft cheesemakers; fruit or
fruit juice, fortified wines, other dairy
products, and probiotic bacterial cultures. |
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Speaking as an American, and thus one with
significant experience in the field of artificial
cheeses, I would presume that some particular
formulation of cheeselike substance would be a
superior milling stock, as it is much closer in
chemical composition to many other, presumably
more traditionally machinable, petroleum
byproducts. |
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Plus, you'll achieve much, much lower vermin
problems due to swarf, as I don't think any animals
are willing to eat the stuff. |
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brings to mind one of my favorite firsts: |
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#3 son to mother dentworth:"mommy, is that the moon, can we eat it?" |
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Thank you Wallace and Gromit |
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[8th], as you must know, I'm a huge fan of Ike the General,
but he was not well-suited to the role of President. His
mistaken belief that the best way to fight Communism
would be with weapons considerably prolonged the Cold
War, and his processed cheese food product initiative was
downright atrocitical; arguably the worst Presidential
decision until its badousity was eclipsed by virtually every
decision made by the Unpresident. |
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// processed cheese food product initiative // |
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He probably thought he was funding
Chemical Warfare research. At least, that's
how it's turned out … |
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Apparently, in 1963-64, Charles de Gaulle funded a
program to develop cheeses of mass destruction. It
is widely believed that, by October '64, he had
developed the capability to deploy a fully mature
brie de meaux in under 45 minutes. |
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"How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?" — Charles de Gaulle |
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Through fear- fear and surprise. Through
fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency … fear,
surprise, ruthless efficency and an almost
fanatical dedication to the Pope … oh bugger
it, we'll go out and form the Common Market
... |
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I believe there are now more than 400 AOC
accredited cheeses in France. |
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That's like, what, two cheeses for every
frenchman with the slightest trace of moral
fibre ? |
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Yeah, let's stereotype Americans' view of food. That's easy.
Stupid, unoriginal, misinformed, and probably some form
of compensation, but easy. |
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It's a view voiced by quite a few Americans,
certainly. |
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Are you kidding? We have great food here! All you have to
do is drive past the McDonalds and the Taco Bell until you
find a place with a burned-out sign that looks like it's been
closed for fifteen years, and you'll find undeniably
American food so good it would make a French cuisine
critic apply for US citizenship. Not to mention that we're
the only country in the Northern Hemisphere that knows
how to properly cook a steak. |
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Sweeping generalisation 101. |
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Perfect for those wanting to brush up their
generalisation skills. |
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I've always wondered about American food
because, having only touristed there (despite
being half American), I've never really penetrated
to the crispy tasty underbelly that many
Americans claim exists. I get the impression that
there are three layers of American cuisine.
There's the fast food layer, which is actually quite
good as fast food goes. Then there's the Big and
Shiny layer, which seems to involve supermarkets
selling overplumped and immaculate-looking but
tasteless ingredients, and pricey restaurants
serving dishes which look perfect but actually
have no flavour. Then, I presume, there is a rich
layer of unpretentious but tasty food - it is this
which is often spoken of but not easy to find. |
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In England, it's a bit different. Our fast food is
generally lousy, but the middle layer of
supermarket food and reasonably priced
restaurants is pretty good (though mixed), and
there are lots of overpriced restaurants that serve
absolutely superb food. |
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In both America and England, I don't think the
majority of the population values or understands
good food - you have to search it out. |
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The French and Italians seem to have the best
food culture, because it's ingrained in the national
mentality. So it's very easy to find good produce
and to find cheap, mundane restaurants that
serve cheap and simple but delicious food. |
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There's no real reason to have 'American' food or 'French' food; with certain local differences, tasty artisan food is obtainable anywhere in the world. It only seems more expensive when compared to the flabby tasteless generic CHEAPER alternatives people buy when cruising store aisles. Ultimately, you get what you settle for. |
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But I agree with your post on the basis that the French and Italians tend 'not' to settle for the generic. |
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Is it possible to make cheese out of wood? Or maybe make wood out of cheese? |
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The latter would be useful and seems like it should be doable to my mind, but then I'm not very smart. |
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I suppose it takes a few hundred years to develop a classy-restaurant style signature dish. The Yanks _really_ do steak on a barbecue, no contest total blue ribbon. Of the indoors food groups both meatloaf and pot roast, available anywhere outside a fast food joint, will put a smile on your face. |
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Or you could head north of the border where, being much more recently either English or French, the Canadians haven't progressed as much in distinctly recognizable cuisine: "Mac'n'Cheese" is widely regarded as the national dish; back-bacon sarnies though world-class are stillsandwiches; apart from those, donuts, poutine and maple syrup pretty well covers it. The fast-food chains are mostly the same as the American ones, the indie burger joints range from total crap to amazingly good with little price differential from the chains. Our donut shops are the best in the world of course. Ethnice restaurants are decent, ranging from Westernized fare to totally authentic that caters to their respective immigrant cultures. Supermarket stuff, mostly bland. |
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South-Western cuisine, the genuine stuff -
firehouse, barn-burner chilli, the "Grill-it-all"
BBQ with simple side dishes of corn on the
cob, beans, tortillas and sourdough bread,
provides an amazing
combination of exquisite flavour, texture,
nutrition and colonic decongestion … |
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//Or maybe make wood out of cheese? |
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Is the world ready for cheese-jacks? As they chip away at the last strands of the trunk on the majestic Red(cheddar)wood and it comes crashing to the ground... |
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"I never wanted to do this in the first place! I... I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK ! Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree .....!
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No, probably not ... it's All Gone Horribly Wrong again ... |
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The problem with trying to determine what American food
is one and the same with trying to determine what America
is (as a land, not a political entity; no need to start that
here). |
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I was sitting in a pub somewhere in the vicinity of
Cambridge (original flavor), enjoying whatever it is the
English serve Americans at lunchtime whilst waiting for the
rain to resume so I could get back on my motorcycle, when
I was approached by a very polite local couple who, having
immediately pegged me for an American, asked me what
proved to be a difficult question. |
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They were going on a two-week vacation to the United
States, they said, and were wondering if I might have any
advice on how best to experience the country in that time. |
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My immediate answer was that they should extended their
vacation by about six months. Finally, we all decided
together that the best thing to do would be to pick one
state and visit there (they chose Colorado, for some
reason). |
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The US isn't really like a single country, with three or four
distinct cultures and one or two trademark cuisines; it's
more
like fifty different countries under one flag, with about
three dozen intermingled cultures and hundreds of
subcultures, and at least a hundred different schools of
fine cuisine. So asking "what is American food?" is either an
exercise in futility or the beginning of a long and
gastronomically exciting journey. |
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That's my opinion, anyway. |
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Occasionally I read a post so inspiring and interesting
I think it should be included in a textbook for all
children to read. Your's, [Alterother], is one of them. |
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// despite being half American // |
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We deduce that it is your upper half, since the
only portion we have observed completely
ungarmented is your lower half, and that
looked, even on close observation, perfectly
normal for a specimen of your alleged age
and disabilities. |
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You may have been confused by the fact that I
use a stunt double for my lower half. |
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Gentlemen, ladies, hegemonizing swarms, I
believe that the technology of machinable cheese
has now been advanced to the point where we
must make the next logical step, and open the
Pandora's Cheeseboard of a new era. |
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Much progress has been made with simple
cheeses,
and laboratory-grade materials have now been
evaluated successfully in compressive, tensile,
torsional and elastomeric roles. You will also no
doubt have read the recent reports of the
successful trials of Goudalite body armour and also
of Thermabrie tiles on the Dragon capsule. |
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Yet we must go further. It is known that the
French have access to advanced cheese
technology, and I need not emphasize the
consequences of letting the French get the upper
hand. |
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People of the HalfBakery, I put it to you that the
time has come to redouble our efforts to develop
cheese-based composite materials. I have taken
the liberty of putting some of my backroom boys
onto this (at my own expense, naturally), and the
challenges are formidable but not insuperable. |
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I am happy to report that Crottin fibre composite,
using highly modified Rocamadour
matrix, has proven to be most promising. Its
tensile strength, specific modulus and work of
fracture far exceed that of even the latest
military cheddars, even though it is in only the
earliest stages of development. If my technical
sous-chef's calculations are correct, this material
may very well turn the space elevator from dream
to reality, giving us a stepping stone to the stars. |
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We cheese to go to the moon. We cheese to go to
the
moon in this decade and do the Cheddar things,
not
because they are Brie, see, but because they are
Sardo,
because that goal will serve to Orlanize and
measure
the best of our energies and skills, because that
challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one
we
are unwilling to Mascarpostpone, and one which
we
intend to win. |
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I am more than happy to turn this over to the
community. The initial forays were privately funded
only because the British government is rather short
of cash these days, and I thought they'd be more
likely to fund further research if I could present
them with a feta complis. |
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I wonder at the wisdom of having cats patrolling the terrestrial end of the cheese string space elevator. |
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One the one hand, they will keep the number of mice down, but will have to rigorously trained not to use the cable as a scratching post. |
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What [Alterother] said very nicely. |
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Which one, the bit about American cuisine or the bit about
[blissmiss] eating mice? |
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Not relevant but anyone who never has should try Drunken Goat. I did yesterday and am now addicted. |
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You could probably whittle it if you had to. |
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I just had to think on it a bit... but I've got it. The trick is melt the cheese, mix in some wood chips and then freeze it. Pecorino pykrete. |
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Presumably it struggles less than a sober goat
… |
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You probably don't want to go posting stuff
like that on a public forum. |
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We don't know what "whittling it" is slang
for, nor do we wish to know. |
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This is an idea whose time is ripe. Without delay I
will exhort Bert, the secretary of the local senior
citizen's group, to rally the troops. Come on Bert! |
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"I say I say, what's the secret of good comedy?"
"I don't know, what is the secret of g"
"Timing." |
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//South-Western cuisine// I had bulgogi on fresh corn
tortillas last time I was in Austin. It was one of the best
things I've ever had. |
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Nice town, nice people, miserably hot ... |
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fancy naming a city after a fairly naff car company...should they have renamed it Leyland anyway? |
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