h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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A great public service could be rendered by dog owners mixing a bioluminescent additive to their pet's food.
This would have the effect of making the dog's excrement glow in the dark, and therefore much easier to avoid while walking home along dimly lit streets.
Glow-in-the-Dark-Genes
http://www.prolume.com/
Maybe add some off these -- I think they would be harmless to the dog. [eagle, Aug 24 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Glowing Pork
http://news.bbc.co....pacific/4605202.stm
Using these pigs in dog food might do the trick. [JephSullivan, Feb 08 2006]
(?) Fluo-Can, as witnessed at 2011 British Invention Show
http://buzzaurus.com/?p=11712
Dog buscuits which bake this glowing idea. [Dub, Oct 24 2011]
[link]
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In a pinch, you could use it to find your keys. |
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It might kinda make the dog glow as well. |
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You say that like it's a -bad- thing... |
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I believe that Mad Magazine already had this as one of their enhancements to dog food, along with magnetic compounds so blind people's canes could detect them as well... |
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The French actually have PoopPatrols, little motorbikes with kakasuckers on them... |
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Luminous dog doo....could save the local authorities a fortune on street lighting and even enhance road safety. Train all dogs to poop along the verges/kerbs and we would all see where the road went. |
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And where the dogs went... |
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Shouldn't that be "Who let the dogs grout"? ROFLMAO! I like the whole dog glow idea. I been to Diablo Canyon and I can tell you it works. No road kill thanks to the nuclear reactor - nobody wants to hit anything with lights on it!
That includes rabbits, raccoons, squirrels etc.
Hey, mix bioluminescent (try spelling that three times real fast! And you thought that bubber gaby rubby mumpers was bad!) with welfare cheese. We can line all highways with glowing lane markers that will last forever courtesy of Pal pooch!
Using radioactive isotopes would not only match the lasting qualities of the welfare cheese but the doo would remain warm and fragrant much longer as well. |
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The ideal solution is one that stops the owner allowing their dog to crap on the pavement in the first place. How about: |
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- tiny explosive robots added to the food. They are primed by the process of digestion and activated by any subsequent contact with air. They explode instantly, with enough force to blow the back end off of a Great Dane - unless they happen to be in the vicinity of a special transmitter, installed in the dog owner's garden by the local council (too big and heavy to make it worth carting around with you). |
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- once the nanobots are in the dog's gut, they ascertain their exact whereabouts using global positioning. Once deposited (within the belly of a turd) into the outside world, they do a quick check to see how far away they are from their first reading. If it's more than, say, 10 feet from that position, they assume they haven't been dropped in the back garden and make their way back on caterpillar tracks, carrying the turd with them: slowly but surely up the road, under the gate, up the front door and through the letterbox. |
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<rant>How about making the asphalt luminescent instead? That way you can avoid most anything that's *not* asphalt. |
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Or... wait! I think I've got a brilliant idea! How about putting some light in those dimly lit streets?</rant> |
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That's pretty far-fetched, gutza . . . . |
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If the [luminous shit] idea is possible, just think of all the new possibilities! Instead of just throwing flaming bags of shit at somebody's house, it'll be all-new and exiting flaming bags of glow-in-the-dark shit (I'm going to patent this!). |
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surely the firey qualities of the bag would cancel out the bioluminesence of the turd? |
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They would, but when the bag is done burning the shit would keep going strong. |
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Luminous dog shit is now available in 8 fun colors: |
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1. Ale Glass Amber
2. Sunset Mauve
3. Periwinkle Pastel
4. Cherry Red
5. Neon Chartreuse
6. Natural Mocha
7. Catalina Blue
8. Orange Surprise |
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well now your all talking a load of shite |
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George Carlin had something like this in his act , feed your dog rubber bands so you can pick up the poo by the bands and shoot it into your neighbors yard |
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[leprechaun]: "Oi! Lookit over there! My blimey gold's fell outa my pot! I'd better go get it before someone else does... what the hey? This isn't me gold!
*grabs leprechaun by beard*
[arrogant kid]: "Aha! A leprechaun! You always have gold with you, right? Where is it? Huh? Oh, nevermind! I see it...." |
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What if you're lost in the dark? And you think it's some kind of light and pick it up? I wouldn't want the task of washing shite off my hands. |
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A bun from me for a good idea. How about UV sensitive agents? A blacklight would make them fluoresce, and only a trace is required. |
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I'm surprised that in four years no-one has mentioned that a British political party, the Monster Raving Loony Party, included this in their election manifesto. They promised to make flourescent material mandatory in all dog food. [link]
I notice though that the link only mentions that it was included in the 2001 manifesto, and [Mickey]'s idea was in 2000. Could it be that the Loonies have among their number a half-baker? And how many other ideas from this site have found their way into mainstream politics? The Private Finance Initiative especially reminds me of some of the half-bakery's wilder moments. |
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Sounds like a good plan to me. In
addition to helping us avoid stepping in
dogshit, it would also be a boon to dog
owners who actually bother to pick up
after their dogs. You could let the dog
out in the back yard to do his thing.
Then, when night falls, it's a relatively
simple process to go scoop up the
glowing dump(s), thereby keeping the
yard pleasant. |
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Could have unintended consequences,
though, particularly if the luminescent
agent made its way into the human
food supply! |
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Why is luminous dogs poo and politics mentioned on the same page? |
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I've never seen or heard of a dog stepping in dog sh*t - and they have double the feet, with the rear ones out of sight. What's going on here? |
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(ack)
They do sniff well don’t they, with pee investigation at the top of their list.
Their sh*t avoidance technique must be a spin off – except for horse sh*t which they are very keen to roll in. |
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Kinda makes it obvious who stepped in the stuff at the cinema! |
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I have either sat in or stepped dookie when I have gone to outdoor field concerts where people sit on the grass or walk around the park grounds. People tend to let their dog relieve themselves in the middle of the field after dark. With the luminous excrement invention, not only will everyone know it when your dog takes a crap, but everyone in the park after dark will see it ahead of time and walk or sit elsewhere. |
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