h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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Many people attach padlocks as symbolic love tokens to
the decorative features of bridges and other structures.
These are periodically removed by the authorities, for a
variety of reasons, but why not take advantage of this
practice and put it to some pragmatic use?
Lovelock Bridge is a pedestrian
river crossing having the
cables composed of such locks connected together to
form supporting chains lines.
Before opening the bridge, the opportunity would be
presented to add locks, and form the chains needed to
complete the supports. A large range of locks, already
tested to certify their strength would be presented for
purchase. Each lock displays a unique identifying number
and the invitation to add a few lines of engraved text.
On reaching the required number of locks, there would
be a celebratory week of "joining the locks". As the
engineers hold master keys, there would be no need to
cut any of the locks in order to form the different chain
lengths required to generate the bridge, and maintain its
structural integrity. All participants would receive a
location map so that they could identify the position of
their love lock on the bridge.
Those wanting to add subsequent locks would be invited
to complete the "rasta-hair-lock" art works that feature
at each end of the bridge, by adding padlocks and
generate the trailing dread-locks of two heads, one male
and one female.
[link]
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I like the way people put these padlocks on railings and bridges, etc. as a metaphor for their love - i.e. something which will last for a couple of years getting steadily rustier before being cut in half by a high-vis-jacket-clad council worker with an angle grinder and melted down for scrap metal.
The idea works for me - it can only be a matter of time before someone posts "lovebridge lock" - a canal lock made of tiny bridges... |
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... or a Love*craft* bridge ... |
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... or a loveblock ridge ... |
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... or a dock vibe roll e.g. ... |
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... or a k-leg boil cover ... |
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... or a bollock diverge. Yes, that one has something. |
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You're going to suffer for that, [hip] ... |
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The idea will actually work, since padlocks are certainly strong enough to form the chains of a suspension bridge. But the couples must be obliged to relinquish the key(s) to their lock to some form of escrow ... it wouldn't be good if a disenchanted lover could come along and compromise the integrity of a critical structural element. |
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The term "Single Point Of Failure" would be appropriate. |
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It's also worth pointing out that (a) the retaining force on
many padlocks is much lower than the breaking stress of the
hasp and (b) many padlocks can be opened in about 1 second
with a shim; those that can't can usually be either picked or
bypassed in about 5 seconds. |
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I was going to post "The Hanging Chains Of Barbie's
Locks" but it shall remain in my notebook along
with several other ideas related to 'public padlock'
adding. |
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Another padlock bridge-side warning
[If one of them breaks you're sure to die]
He walks unconcerned
'cross as rickety links sway,
A dozen more chinks to wander by.
The secret combos route the scene with heaped carts
as they're led by light feet,
but he hopes no-one's jinxed the coming notch.
If any single coupling is even slightly inferior
it'd be a debilitating krick and a botch. |
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Many miles away something walks onto the surface
of the love-bridge across the loch. |
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<apologies to Gordon Sumner> |
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"To", "From"... it's all relative. |
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