h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Can it be filtered through a set of kidneys, for the full effect? |
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Tautology. Everyone knows Londoners have no sense of taste ... |
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Consider yourselves lucky there are no large sulfur
deposits in your groundwater. In Lafayette Indiana
in the 80's you could smell the water a table away.
Not for no reason one of Purdue University's colors
is yellow. |
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It's like I've always said, if they can spend forty billion
pounds drilling a hole across and under London, they
could afford to spend a bit of money to alter the geology
of the south east of England so that the water doesn't
taste like ass. That they don't suggests to me that London
water (also Heywards Heath water and Paddock Wood
water and Saxby Fnarbry water and so on) is an elaborate
cockney prank to be played on anyone who is at once (a)
fortunate enough not to live in and (b) unfortunate
enough to be alive in London. I am assuming that the
prank is motivated by jealousy of status (a) and the
opportunity afforded by status (b), and the Londoners are
such a piss-hearted bunch that they will themselves suffer
this torment just for the mere sake of sticking it right up
the provincials. hippo's excellent idea frees Londonders
up from this self-inflicted harm, allowing them to
venture, tentatively at first, and then with increasing
confidence, into those provinces for the purpose of being
mean to people from places like Wrexham, Hexham and
Twatt. |
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// allowing them to venture ... into those provinces // |
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Either that's irony, or you've just put your name down for a kicking. |
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The whole point of building the M25 was as the foundations of the eagerly awaited London Containment Barrier. |
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what are you talking about? London's water is the best! |
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I like this + pst - [there/their] |
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Not just the water; everything in London is The Best. In fact it's so good that we understand why no Londoner ever wants to leave. |
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Besides, there's nowhere to go. The Underground stops where it does because there's nothing beyond that point, just a sheer cliff going down forever into the freezing darkness. It's literally the end of the World. |
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All that stuff about "other places" is just a conspiracy. No, stay in London, where it's safe and beautiful and friendly. Don't ever, ever leave. Ignore the cassandras who say it's a dirty, smelly, overcrowded, overpriced plague pit, choked with traffic and crawling with foreigners. It's just lies, all lies, to tempt you away from Nirvana. |
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Do the sensible thing. Stay in London. Don't ever leave. |
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600,000 cats are doing just that. |
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Grest place, unless you like sunshine. Then I
recommend someplace sunnier, like the bottom of
the Amazon perhaps. |
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