Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Limericks for any occation

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For people like me who have problems writing clever and humorous limericks, I have produced a universal outline to help me. Here’s the outline. All you have to do is fill-in the blanks. Remember to be creative.

There once was a ___________ from_________, Who___________a___________and __________, As much as ____ __________, on one _________ and ___________, ____________ ____________ ____________ __________ .

—el dueno, Jan 25 2022

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       Apologies if [el dueno] is not pronounced el Dew (ay) no   

       There once halfbaked [el dueno].
[a1] thought that that post's not quite bueno.
He posted el linko,
to prove non distincto...
Thus original goes down the drain-o.		   

       There once was a FORK-LIFT TRUCK DRIVER from ROTHERHAM, Who DROVE a FORK-LIFT TRUCK and A FORD CAPRI, As much as HE ENJOYED HIS JOB, on one THURSDAY AFTERNOON HE RESIGNED and LUCKILY, MANAGED TO PICK UP A JOB AS A MACHINE OPERATOR THE FOLLOWING MONDAY .   

       I think there shouldn't be a space before the final full stop. Apart from that, this seems an excellent template.
—pocmloc, Jan 25 2022
   

       There once was a word spelled "occation" but nobody knew what it meant so that's as far as it went. Not a halfbaked idea. Read help file.
—xenzag, Jan 25 2022
   

       There once was a QUANTITY SURVEYOR from STOKE POGES,
Who MURDERED a WOMAN and FLED,
As much as HE TRIED,
on one NIGHT HE WAS SPIED and NOW HE'S
DOING AN INDETERMINATE SENTENCE IN BELMARSH.
—calum, Jan 25 2022
   

       There once was a TILLER GIRL from STOKE POGES,
Who EMBROIDERED a HANKIE and THEN ATE IT,
As much as SIXTY THOUSAND POUNDS OF PUBLIC FUNDS WAS SPENT,
on one HOSPITAL SHIFT TO TRY TO REMOVE IT FROM HER DIGESTIVE SYSTEM and FOLLOWING FAILURE TO DO SO
SHE IS PURSUING A CIVIL CLAIM AGAINST THE NHS TRUST WHICH IS LIKELY TO COST THE PUBLIC PURSE EVEN MORE JUST TO DEFEND, LET ALONE SETTLE
—calum, Jan 25 2022
   

       There once was a CHILD from STOKE POGES,
Who DID a POO and A WEE IN HIS PANTS,
As much as THE CHILD WOULD HAVE PREFERRED OTHERWISE,
on one TOILET WALL WAS WRITTEN A STATEMENT ADVERTING TO THIS INCIDENT and NOW HE'S
KNOWN WIDELY AS THE CHILD WHO DID A POO AND A WEE IN HIS PANTS IN STOKE POGES
—calum, Jan 25 2022
   

       File under: material for [calum]'s biographer perhaps?
—pocmloc, Jan 25 2022
   

       Ah, calum! You are my muse!

There once was a FAT BLOKE from STOKE POGES,
Who SPRANG a LEAK and DIED,
As much as NOBODY CARED,
on one HORSE and CART, BANKSY PRINTED A MEMORIAL TATTOO
and SOLD IT FOR A FORTUNE AS IT COULD BE EASILY TRANSPORTED.
—DrBob, Jan 31 2022
   

       A most excellent template.   

       There once was a PRIME MINISTER from THE UNITED KINGDOM,
Who LIED a LOT and DRANK WINE WITH CHEESE,
As much as A NEBUCHADNEZZAR AND A WHOLE TRUCKLE OF CHEDDAR ALL DENIED AND YET,
on one OCCASION
and ANOTHER AND ANOTHER, IT WAS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT IN THE DOWNING STREET LAVVIES LATER SO IT MUST HAVE HAPPENED.
—DenholmRicshaw, Jan 31 2022
   


 

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