Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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There goes my teleportation concept.

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Light-up TP

For Outdoor Home... Decoration... yeah that's it.
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Back in the days before Ring, trigger-happy Karens and toilet paper hoarders, we youngster hoodlums with little else to do might occupy a late evening 'decorating' the homes of our favorite, or least favorite teacher, school administrator, band director, etc. by toilet-papering the trees, making 2-liter bottle bombs out of the Worx toilet cleaner and aluminum foil, saran-wrapping cars, and lighting small bags of feces on fire to place on the pavement in hopes they'd try to stomp them out.

Ah those were the days. Somewhere along the way, someone decided that this fun was to be frowned upon and it largely went away.

But many people still like Christmas lights, even though not everyone has the time or ability to put them up.

We at Generation X enterprises have come up with a solution in the form of toilet paper rolls that incorporate LED lighting wiring. Now, you're not being a delinquent, you're simply decorating the neighbors and townies with additional Christmas lighting not even the town curmudgeon could dislike.

Opt for our mega-extended pack; tie the loose end to a tree and drive around the entire city block.

RayfordSteele, Nov 21 2023

MORE TP! https://youtu.be/oo...si=lYH6RaiCewFaxoQz
[21 Quest, Nov 21 2023]

[link]






       I'm having a hard time visualizing this one.
21 Quest, Nov 21 2023
  

       If the TP were made entirely from fibre optic strands then only the roll itself would need to emit light.   

       (unsuitable for standard application)   

       Now this is just silly. [+]
Voice, Nov 21 2023
  

       Scratchy
pocmloc, Nov 21 2023
  

       Power source within the roll?
whatrock, Nov 21 2023
  

       [+] Truly in the ancient tradition of festooning.   

       Should not be limited to Xmas. Let color schemes be born; every occasion deserves festooning!
minoradjustments, Nov 23 2023
  
      
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