Life the Video Game

Ontogeny recapitulates Phylogeny. In this space-invaders- style game you start out as a human egg moving back and forth across the bottom of the screen trying to catch a sperm that is falling out of the sky. The shoot button emits chemical attractants -- pick the best sperm and shoot attractants at it, which speeds it up. When you catch a sperm the next level starts and you divide into two cells. Catch some of the cell food that is falling out of the sky and you split again, eventually turning into a blastocyst. Now your alimentary canal opens up and you grow an umbilical cord that attaches to the bottom of the screen so the player feels attached to the avatar. Now the object is to avoid bad stuff that is falling out of the sky and run into good stuff. I don't know what the stuff is, maybe molecules - something that will teach people stuff. Like maybe stuff to avoid is fat and stuff to run into is protein. But that would be eating and you are eating through the ubilical cord. Hmm. Well then you become a baby and now you have to avoid McDonalds and run into Spinach. And then you become a teenager and you have to avoid brocolli and run into cigarettes and comic books. And then you become an adult and you have to avoid bums and run into money and members of the opposite sex who are not bums. And then it starts all over again, or you die.