Life after death

So you're dead. There's nothing you can do about it. But what if you want to have your own Elvis-like cult of believers who think that you are still alive, for decades after your death? If posthumous conspiracy theories be your desire, then call the Life After Death funeral service.

Life After Death will arrange a funeral, then bury you quietly without a ceremony in a grave marked with a pseudonym. That's when their real job begins. At your funeral, Life After Death will be sure to put your craziest uncles and cousins in front, right next to your "body". Of course, you won't really be available for display, so Life After Death will instead show the mourners a life- sized wax replica that looks... almost real. They might have it twitch just enough for only the sharpest-eyed viewers to notice, and not enough for them to be sure. Your corpse might even sweat a little.

Life After Death will fabricate evidence suggesting that your death was faked, and then place it so that it will be found by "the kooks". Naturally, the evidence will be convincing to them, but not enough for the authorities. Over the next few years, Life After Death will send lookalikes of you wandering through truck stops, diners and supermarkets. If that isn't enough, a manic blogger will be hired to rant about the fact that your survival was covered up by "The Man". Eventually, you will be a latter-day Elvis with an army of bedraggled hippies claiming your continued existence.