h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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I take is as axiomatic that the true purpose
of medical science is to enable us to abuse
our bodies and not suffer the
consequences.
Exercise and diet are no fun whatsoever -
there has clearly got to be a better way to
avoid obsesity whilst being able to indulge
in one's favourite foods
ad nauseam.
One solution that has been tried is to
replace fats with non-digestible
equivalents, which pass through the gut
without delivering their calories.
Unfortunately, they pass through in pretty
much the same form that they went in,
with unpleasant results for the launderer
of the household. It is also exceedingly
difficult to produce, for example, a
plausible replica of foie gras from these
indigestible fats.
I propose an alternative. Take the humble
E. coli and endow it with the ability to
synthesize cellulose. Add a little more
metabolic plumbing, and you should have
gut bacteria which can snatch sugars and
lipids from your gut and convert them
directly into indigestible roughage before
they can be absorbed.
A simple pill containing a starter colony of
these bugs should populate your gut with
an army of cellulose-generating, calorie-
sapping allies. Within days, the pounds
will start to fall away; within weeks, the
most enthusiastic gourmand will find
himself becoming more sylph-like despite
his excesses.
You will appreciate, of course, that the
details remain to be resolved. But this
should be a relatively trivial problem.
H. pylori is culturable
http://www.ncbi.nlm...35026&dopt=Abstract [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2007]
...and transformable
http://www.ncbi.nlm...72825&dopt=Abstract [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2007]
[link]
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The problem is that the bacteria live downstream from where all the stuff is absorbed. There is not much remaining nutrient value (for us) in poop. Although, arguably, one could correct a diet deficient in B12 by cecotropy. |
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[bungston]: <pedant> cecotrophy </pedant> |
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[Maxwell]: //Exercise and diet are no fun whatsoever// Maybe you haven't found the right form of exercise yet? |
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[bungston] Good point. Damn. But
there ought to be some gut flora which
live (or can be persuaded to live) a little
higher up the gut, no? What about H.
pylori? |
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[pertinax] If there were an enjoyable
form of excercise, it would not be called
exercise, just as an enjoyable diet is not
usually called a diet. |
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Also <Pedant>caecotrophy<pedant> |
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<meta-pedant> Diphthongs are allowed to collapse to a single 'e' over time, as happened with Oeconomics. </meta-pedant> |
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>>the true purpose of medical science is to enable us to abuse our bodies and not suffer the consequences<< |
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>>Take the humble E. coli and endow it with the ability to synthesize cellulose.<< |
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What about those annoying bacteria of the mouth that high tech dentists show you under the microscope to try and justify their fee, the ones that turn sugar into acid but get crushed by chewing gum (as I understand the science of the ad). Surely they could be coaxed into producing something other than acid. I wonder if you could make them produce chewing gum, that obviously wouldn't allow them to survive for long under natural selection. |
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Another bacterial candidate for modification could be the nasty flesh eating bacteria (can't remember the name but I'm sure it has "cock" in it somewhere). If they could persuaded to just consume fat and perhaps excrete melanin, the world would be full of lithe tanned beauties. |
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It's funny you should say that, because this idea has a lot of cock (and bull) in it. |
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As [MaxwellBuchanan] mentions, it's turned out that ulcers are caused by nasties living in the stomach. Let me google a bit. |
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"Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) is a spiral-shaped bacterium that is found in the gastric mucous layer or adherent to the epithelial lining of the stomach." |
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Good luck modifying that. It apparently can neutralize some acid, so you may be able to get it to prevent the food being digested in the stomach. |
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Just allow yourself to be colonized by a tapeworm. |
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//metabolic plumbing// hah... So, are metabolic plumbers like their macroscopic counterparts? If so, this shouldn't be too hard. We might need some more beer in the cooler, though.. |
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[Murdoch] // No it isn't. //
Yes, it is. |
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//How?//
Well, at a wild guess I would have said
that a cellulose synthase gene would be
a promising place to start. However, it
turns out that there is complete
pathway for cellulose synthesis in
Acetobacter spp., comprising 4 genes (a
cellulose synthase amongst them, of
course) sitting in an operon only 10kb
long. In other words, there is a more-
or-less off the shelf bacterial genetic
unit wired up and ready to go. |
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[Baconbrain] //Good luck modifying that//
H. pylori is culturable (link) and at least
some strains can be transformed (ie, you
can put foreign DNA into them; other link). |
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// so you may be able to get it to prevent
the food being digested in the stomach//
but that would be bad. You'll just be
passing lots of stuff further down the
intestinal tract, and I feel it in my bones
that the consequences will be runny. |
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[maklar] now, that is the kind of can-do
attitude I admire. Gung that ho. |
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>>there is a more- or-less off the shelf bacterial genetic unit wired up and ready to go.<< |
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So someone else has already done it. Not really your idea, in that case, is it? ;) |
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And I believe that the idea was to put
the cellulose synthesis pathway into a
regular intestinal microbe ;-) |
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We might want to test this out on
something small and furry first. With a
bit of luck, we will establish a new line
of hamsters which crap sawdust, which
would be handy. OK, very thin
hamsters which crap sawdust. |
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The ideal diet leaves you happier than when you started, without so much as a look at the scale or a thought for what you're putting into yourself. |
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As this Idea doesn't alter the aforementioned basic dietary principle. + |
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