Lake of Firesnakes Fun Pool

For aquatics complexes, this goes alongside the waterslide pools and artificial wave pools: a deep, dimly lit pool with craggy rock sides, wisps of mist drifting across the surface, and glowing serpents squirming near the bottom. The "snakes" are translucent plastic tubes, quite tough and flexible, with slightly helical shapes, running from one side of the pool to the other. They squirm because a pair of jacuzzi pumps send water through them and the helical shape introduces flow instabilities, and they glow because the water running through them is doped with a harmless fluorescent chemical and there are black lights on the bottom of the pool. The plastic tubes must be kept reasonably taut to avoid the possibility of tangling around a swimmer's ankle. The drifting mist comes from a small fog generator under the pool deck. The lifeguard should be a hefty, hairy, well-aged woman with long nails and savage maternal feelings.