h a l f b a k e r yOutside the bag the box came in.
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In a sense of course, this is not an original idea. Even so, I've wondered if it
could be done, and these are my thoughts on the matter.
Take some milk and warm it, then leave it for several hours, producing yogurt.
Place it in a receptacle with a nozzle on the end, then insert the end of the
nozzle into an atmosphere cooled to about -80 degrees Celsius. Squirt it out
under pressure, with the resultant fibre landing on a padded surface, maybe
snow, so as not to break it. While keeping it generally cold, carefully and slowly
bend the threads with slightly warmed knitting needles so that they soften and
can then be looped, knotted and converted into a knitted product of some kind.
Keep the results in the freezer, then take them out to wear on hot days, e.g.
hats, balaclavas, leg coolers, gloves and scarves to keep the wearer cool in a
heatwave or just a hot climate. The garments gradually melt and turn into a
sticky mass of course, but in the meantime, they keep you cool. As they melt,
they can be eaten to cool you from the inside as well.
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Annotation:
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Frozen viscous substances of all sorts could be used in this machine! |
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This idea contains a range and quality of imagery that leads to
serious concerns regarding the mental state of the author. |
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/Take some milk and warm it, then leave it for
several hours, producing yogurt./ |
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I'm not exactly sure what that would look like, but
I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be:
A. Yoghurt, or
B. Safe for consumption. |
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Well, that's how I made yogurt before I went vegan
and I'm still here. |
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Are there other things you made that you also called yogurt? |
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It was yogurt! It was a thick, sour substance with
bacteria munching away at milk protein and making
acid. That's how you make yogurt. What's the
problem? I mean, if you like take out that bit but it's
still how you make it. You add a bit of the last batch
of course, and it did go fizzy once but that's because
I was baking at the same time and some yeast got in
it. |
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//The garments gradually melt// |
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Well, this very indeed depends on your definition
of "gradually". |
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If it's the "gradually" as in "gradually, life on Earth
evolved to the point of being able to conquer the
land", then this is probably not the case. |
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If it's the "gradually" as in "gradually close the
wound, suturing evenly and drawing the edges
together as you go" - probably also not the case. |
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If it's the "gradually" as in "instead of melting
gradually, the knitted frozen yoghurt clothes
melted in his fingertips as he donned them,
forming a pool of liquid yoghurt around his feet as
he stood there feeling foolish", then that may be
more like it. |
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Incidentally, re. veganism, a group at the John
Innes has just succeeded in producing a GM
cassava the juice of which contains bovine
proteins, lactose and triglycerides. It is intended
as a dairy-free milk alternative. Whether it can be
yoghurtized or not is, as yet, unknown. |
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Well in that case it could still be refreshingly cold and your hands
could end up with a pool of yogurt in them which you could then drink. |
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Regarding cassava juice, the cow tree occasionally impinges on my
mind. |
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