Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Kit to deter alien abductions

 
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Well, the easiest way to get them pesky aliens to go somewhere else is to bore them into submission.

The kit includes a fake rectum which contains - an algebra book, "Hoover for 1932" pennants, Mountaineering in Lincolnshire guide books, any speech by John Major, EU homologation guides etc...

not_morrison_rm, Oct 20 2018

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       Erm, when was the last time aliens were spotted mountaineering in Lincolnshire?   

       The only alleged "sighting" was Sturton in a nightdress after his inadvisable late supper of those "special" mushrooms. I tole him, I did...but did he listen?
not_morrison_rm, Oct 20 2018
  

       //when was the last time aliens were spotted mountaineering in Lincolnshire? // Ah, you have failed to see the wood for the trees here. The mountains in Lincolnshire *are* aliens.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 20 2018
  

       I read the title as Kilt to deter alien abductions and wondered if the Scots were on to something.
Anyone know if there are fewer Scottish abduction claims than average?
  

       Aliens wouldn't go there, they've seen Trainspotting.
not_morrison_rm, Oct 20 2018
  
      
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