h a l f b a k e r yBreakfast of runners-up.
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Every so often, I turn my keyboard over and all manner
of shit
falls out of it... staples, crumbs, desiccated moths,
eyelashes, etc.
There has to be a better way.
Given the number of hours we spend at our computers,
UBCo has been working on a solution to alleviate
boredom
*and* resolve
the problem of keyboard crap building up
between the keys.
The keys are arranged on a strong metal scaffold,
suspended above a small aquarium, fitted with state of
the
art filtration and lighting, powered via USB connection.
Anything that falls on the keyboard now passes through
and
into the miniature "shark pool" below, doomed to be
consumed or to sink to the tiny Davy Jones Locker
beneath
your fingers.
Now you have an excuse to eat crumbly foods whilst at
your computer.
These little guys?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfish
Behold! The family of Handfish! [UnaBubba, Oct 30 2020]
[link]
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All foods become crumbly given sufficient time. Brilliant! [+] |
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Plus, cycle of life: include edible* fishes in the tank, harvest for fish fingers**, consume at keyboard... |
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*depending on the culture where you live on Earth2B, Discworld, LibrarySpace (basically, anywhere UPS can deliver) |
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**We have seen 'fish' with fingers, likely able to lift the keyboard and make an escape, but they are not technically fishes. We mean the cleverly- confusingly-named crumbly slabs. |
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Great. Absolutely outstanding. An innovation that would actually encourage an aquarium-lover to use her keyboard as a dinner plate. |
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We won't bone this because it is indeed halfbaked, but no croissant either. |
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I suspect it's the only fishy thing you wouldn't bone, [8/7] |
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USB-C has enough (100W) power to play with that you're
in the realm of the feasible here. You can easily do a nice
little built-in canister style pressurized filter for ~5-10W a
little lighting for a few more Watts and 25W is enough in
most environments to keep ~5 gallons at a toasty 25C,
which would be nice in winter. |
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You could arrange the keyboard with enclosed sections
around the sides and back, and make the keys/support
structure out of a nice optically clear acrylic. If you keep
it nice and shallow, then stock it with something like
pygmy cory catfish & some shrimp then you could look
down through your keys at all sorts of lovely activity. |
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But does USB have enough power to cook the
fishfingers? (cf. [SgtTeacup]'s annotation) |
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An infinite number of sea-monkeys inside an infinite number of Keyboard Aquariums could recreate all of the lost works of Atlantis. |
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"All foods become crumbly given sufficient time." |
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And you know this how??? I'm not disagreeing, I just thought I
was the only one that left a half-eaten yogurt container under
my bed for a year. |
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(UnaBubba, I just got what you meant talking to 8th. It took
me three reads, but finally, I understood and laughed, very
hard.) |
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We didn't laugh at all; we just jammed yet more steel hatpins into our wax model of [UB] ... |
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Well [bliss], "all foods become crumbly" speaks to general rate of desiccation, and predation by fungi and other organisms rendering foodstuffs friable and/or frangible, suitable for compost or further study. |
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The three exceptions* are hardtack (Lewis & Clark's ship's biscuits), Egyptian loaves (plain, date, fig, or coriander), and dwarf bread, all of which continue to be consumable**. |
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*Not enough time has passed for science to have seen evidence of change. |
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**Provided you have lots of hot water for soaking, a hammer, and diamond teeth. |
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Thank you for the lesson on crusty food 101, Sgt Teacup. I'm
much more aware now of the fragile existence of "Egyptian
loaves", relative to the history of this planet, I think. |
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[+] got a smile around the the group I mentioned it to. |
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