Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Key Locating Squirrel

You Clever Little Bugger
 
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Only the other day I was watching television, a nature program about the incredible memory of squirrels remembering where they have buried their nuts. Well this idea involves constantly having a trained squirrel with you, show him/her were you are going to put your keys and when you require them again simply ask the squirrel. According to this programme they hide and relocate thousands of nuts so feel free to leave keys all around the house.
Mr Risk, Mar 25 2003

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       I hate this idea I don't know why I wrote it
Mr Risk, Mar 25 2003
  

       Don't be so hard on yourself - it's not that bad. Is it possible to train squirrels? If so, I would like to train one to stand still while I throw a bucket of (body temperature - I'm not cruel) water on it, so I can see what they look like without all the fuzz. I have tried this down the park, but they are nippy little buggers.   

       By the way, you mean programme, not program.
sild, Mar 25 2003
  

       its a small reminder that this is not a chat site.
po, Mar 25 2003
  

       My understanding was that squirrels merely went back to likely hiding places, rather than remembering every location. and actually end up overlooking (or forgetting) a significant number of caches. Or we would have no oak trees.
dalek, Mar 25 2003
  

       It's because it's important [Mr_Risk]. For example, your statement "Sorry rant over" means something quite different to what you intended (though ironically more accurate (sorry)) by the way you have not punctuated it properly.   

       I have two reasons for correcting people's spelling - 1)regardless of what you say it's not always possible to know what they mean if the wrong word is written and 2) for their own good.   

       Now I'm feeling a bit too pedantic for my liking, so I'll end it there.
sild, Mar 25 2003
  

       You were misinformed squirrels use various different hiding places, as for the oak trees that you speak of, well not every squirrel can survive the winter.
Mr Risk, Mar 25 2003
  

       You don't have many friends do you slid, Mr Risk has many. Look I can name 2: Otto Kickpuffin Adolf Freephone
Mr Risk, Mar 25 2003
  

       spelling: sild
po, Mar 25 2003
  

       I'll take two - one trained to find the other squirrel
FloridaManatee, Mar 25 2003
  

       I have changed it, now shut up!
Mr Risk, Mar 25 2003
  

       sild, I salute your defense of proper spelling. Unfortunately, I must inform you that "program" is the correct spelling in American English.
beauxeault, Mar 25 2003
  

       What if evil burglars somehow came to have an army of such trained squirrels, trained to spy on other squirrels and dig up the keys hidden by others. Then the technology would turn against you, and hiders all over the world would live in fear of evil secret agent squirrels.
<social banter>blissy: that puts your birthday precisely 2 weeks and 1 day after mine, although I guess *also* in a different year</sb>
Parvenu, Mar 25 2003
  

       In the event of a burglar breaking to my home, can I train the squirrel to hide my keys so that the burglar can't steal my car?
Cedar Park, Mar 25 2003
  

       Or his keys so he can't drive away. (assuming, of course your burglar drove there)
Worldgineer, Mar 25 2003
  

       // In the event of a burglar breaking to my home, can I train the squirrel to hide my keys so that the burglar can't steal my car?   

       Upgrade to the attack squirrel.
Trodden, Mar 26 2003
  

       OK - I take it all back and apologise if Mr Risk's American. Just have to say though Basie, that you're wrong about my "by the way" sentence. It is the second half of the sentence beginning "For example", not the start of a new one. But let's forget all this silly nonsense - but then I would say that 'cos I probably got the program thing wrong in the first place.
sild, Mar 26 2003
  

       My brother used to hide my father's keys (sometimes in a wastepaper basket) when we were young. If only we had had a squirrel to retrieve them! Interesting potential for turf wars between the squirrels and resident cats who like to "steal" jangly objects for recreational purposes.
brenna, Mar 26 2003
  

       I just like the idea of being followed around by a squirrel
igirl, Mar 27 2003
  

       I would give this idea a (+) for the concept. But then again... How would one go about training squirrels?? As many of you have rightly pointed out, they ARE nippy li'l buggers.   

       So, for lack of practical explanation of the 'HOW' aspect... it gets a (-) from me.
joker_of_the_deck, Mar 27 2003
  

       Oak trees are smarter than squirrels. They have evolved to use them as a means of planting their seeds. The little rodents forget where they buried their prize and a mighty oak grows. I wouldn't trust my car keys to someone who forgets his own nuts.
MauiChuck, Oct 16 2008
  
      
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