h a l f b a k e r yNot the Happy Cuddle Club.
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It's a staple of romantic films, TV shows and 80's Volkswagen adverts
that the jilted lover will throw their valuable engagement ring or
wedding ring into the sea/ a river/ a drain at some point. This sort of
senseless waste and desecration of the natural world with heavy metals
is no longer
acceptable and so I propose that at recycling centres there
should be a small recycling bin for the jewellery of disillusioned lovers.
This need not be big, but for security reasons it will be welded to the
side of the much bigger and heavier glass recycling bin. Biodegradable
rings made from dried seaweed will be available if you still feel the
need to throw something into the sea.
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Annotation:
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[Ian] This idea has nothing to do with Wagner either. |
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My wedding ring is tattooed onto my finger. Do I just pop my amputated finger into the bin? |
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Actually, thinking about it, that's biodegradable really. |
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Your offer is acceptable. |
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Gold is not a heavy metal, well yes it is, but biological
processes do not treat it as such. Same with platinum. |
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Likewise, if you want to be practical any jewelry can be
recycled for it's precious component value (much less than
was paid for it, especially for diamonds). |
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This lacks emphasis, however, which is the point of the
stupid romantic gesture. I like the idea of cheaper,
environmentally friendly replicas being available to throw
away though. Might I suggest a 3d scanner and starch
based Stereolithography so you can get an exact replica. |
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On a far more practical level, how's about a mail order service that replaces the diamond in an engagement ring with a paste replica, then couriers you back the ring and the value of the diamond in cash, minus commission, within twenty four hours. |
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I too failed to miscomprehend this idea. I assumed it was a
sort of dating service where jilted partners could pair up with
other jilted partners in some kind of rotational system. |
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However, I'm not keen on this idea. If a similar scheme had
been in operation in the past, we'd never have unearthed
such treasures as Stone Henge, the Norman Snake Bracelet
the Mary Rose. |
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Sorry? Stonehenge was thrown away by some bird in a huff? |
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No, Wags, that would be silly now, wouldn't it?
Stonehenge was a traditional wedding gift - basically, the
neolithic equivalent of a toaster. A woman needs only so
many Henges (stone or otherwise), and no doubt this
particular beauty got a bag on when the umpteenth "close
friend" got her another bloody henge. |
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Not surprising really, given that cupboard-under-the-sinks
hadn't even been invented yet. |
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But, point is, if she'd simply sent it for recycling instead of
slinging it, druids would spend every solstice standing
round a small patch of thistles. |
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I thought the idea was about the jeweler
guaranteeing the
ring and if jilted then he or she would have a buy
back price and a
subsequent removal from memory smelting cost. |
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