h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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"It's Raining Cheese" is a powered device for use in the
kitchen that is capable of coating anything placed within
its confines with a layer a of grated cheese.
There's how it works:
At the front of "It's Raining Cheese" is an opening large
enough to permit the insertion of a variety of
different
types of food, from single slices of bread, cream
crackers
etc, to entire pizzas. On detecting this new presence, a
continuous rain of cheese begins to fall from the inner
ceiling of the apparatus. This event occurs because the
device's internal grinder and conveyor belt have been
activated. Excess cheese is simply recycled inside the
machine as it falls though the grill under the food
receiving tray.
As a refinement, a simple knob permits the selection of
3
basic varieties of cheese: parmesan, cheddar or
mozzarella.
"Large or fine particles" is the other control option.
Cheese
coating may be heavy or light according to the length of
time the food is exposed to the rain of cheese.
Deluxe version features adjustable strobe light for the
added drama of motion freezing the cheese particles in
mid descent.
Cheese sputtering gun
Cheese_20sputtering_20gun
[hippo, Nov 28 2018]
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Annotation:
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Dibs on not cleaning this. |
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I assume this is mounted inside the fridge so you don't have
to take the cheese out and clean it every time you us it. |
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Pesky iPad keeps changing words.... grind became
find.....corrected - grrrrrrrrrr. |
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High overusage coefficient. [+] |
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This could be made more efficient with explosives. What's
needed is a vast block of cheddar attached to a ceramic plate
with various small shaped charges bonded to its surface. A
camera detects the shape of the bread or other item to be
cheeses, and detonates the appropriate set of shaped charges
to simultaneously melt and eject the cheese, perfectly
coating the target. |
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// This could be made more efficient with explosives // |
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More efficient, probably not. More entertaining, definitely. Previous impromptu research using a 38mm flare pistol and a block of catering cheddar entirely disproved the theory that it is possible to improvise a low-lethality projectile weapon typical of the sort of device that The A-Team are frequently portrayed as using. It's also incredibly difficult to clean up the pulverized cheese, and the smell lingers for months. |
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// clean up the pulverized cheese // |
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I think the brief was to coat the target with particles of cheese,
not to pierce it with high-energy projectile fondue. |
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Toast would be unsalvageable, and even a pizza base would
spall, would it not? |
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//high-energy projectile fondue// see link |
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... quod erat deprecandum |
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Caerphilly now - we don't want to start yet another cheese puns thread |
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For the love of cod! I've just about haddock up to here with
this plai.. Oops, sorry. Wrong thread. |
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I wonder if the Venn diagram for cheese puns and fish puns
has any region of overlap? |
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The only place you'll find that information is in the Necronomicon ... Olaus Wormius' Latin version, as printed in Spain in the seventeenth century, not Dr Dee's English version. |
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//cheese puns and fish puns// Cheese and fish,
like the farmer and the cowboy, can be friends.
After all look what happened when a rabbit and a
block of cheddar cheese spent time together in
Wales. |
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Yes, but that was in Wales, where the normal diet is seaweed
and slate. |
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Of course, in the posh restaurants it's served with rain sauce. |
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How do you clean up the pulverized cats after
unexploded ordinance has been eaten? |
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Sadly no. They degrade somewhat with each cycle. I think it
has to do with the length of the strands. |
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// How do you clean up the pulverized cats // |
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//I wonder if the Venn diagram for cheese puns and fish puns has any region of overlap?// - Brie-m |
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Go on, [hippo], get up the ladder ... you should be flattered, we built the Wicker Man especially for you. |
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... said the man who coined "Murtaugh on the Orient Express"? |
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You're just jealous that you didn't think of it. |
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instant powdered milk does not taste like cheese but
perhaps you could have a 10 gallon thing of milk gradually
go down a tube with a laser at the tip and a gradually
rotating plate to make aged cheese droplets that eventually
find their way to the exit rotating plate. |
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^ Available now as a 2m diameter inflatable for installation in front of your house. |
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The production of cheese is a fermentation process; a laser would be, at best, unhelpful. |
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