h a l f b a k e r yJust add oughta.
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Visual ergonomics has brought about the invention of baffling and mysterious icons to describe what is going on with functions of certain things. The most obvious would be washing instructions on garments, the symbols are supposed to clearly indicate something : a triangle with a line through it? huh?
Looking at my computer, the 'on' light has a little symbol next to it of a light bulb with radiating lines - how clever!
I suggest detailed instructions for even the most banal objects printed onto them or at least with a sticker.
'COFFEE MUG - ceramic vessel designed for hot beverages, especially coffee',
'STAPLER - puts small metal fasteners into paper - Insert paper and squeeze - will need periodic refills'
'SPOON - metal eating utensil'
'ON LIGHT - when this light is on, it indicates your device is on'
'RACQUET - when the ball comes your way, hit it back using the stringed section, hold handle located at other end [arrow]'
The surfaces of everything would be labelled and confusion would be done away with for those using things that they have no specialty with - like automotive mechanic's tools, cooking utensils, sporting equipment. Learning about things would be a breeze and the post-minimalist aesthetic would facilitate a cultural shift towards objectification - though this might be a bad thing.
sigh.
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Excellent! With appropriate labelling of surgical
instruments, even a mere novice would be able to
perform complicated operations. |
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Ever since the "Guess the Halfbaker" idea, I've been nailing these left and right. I guessed benfrost after I read the description. I win! |
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This would allow more bad translations from Japanese, Korean, Latvian, etc too. "Bean Curd: Please to eat only, not a Sexual Excitement!" "Sticky side tape is bottom unless bottomside up" "Insert male into female watching at all times for incendiary sparks" |
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It's sad that some people actually NEED these directions. 'Warning: The HOT COFFEE contained in this cup that you were given when you asked for HOT COFFEE is actually HOT'. |
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There's an old joke that you can identify an Irish Guinness bottle because it has 'Open other end' stamped on the bottom.
Also, I've seen a dinner service which has 'Plate' printed on the plates, 'Fork' on the forks, etc. |
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Because people are morons. A couple of idiots lifted up a lawnmower to trim the hedges and got their fingers hacked up, were surprised, and sued. |
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People are idiots, and NEED warnings like 'Do not stick icepick in ear', and 'Do not use <hairdryer> while sleeping'. |
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Great Link, Waug; However, It's Highly Annoying That They
Capitalize the First Letter of Almost Every Single Word in
The Warnings. |
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//This would allow more bad translations from Japanese, Korean, Latvian, etc too.//
ummm.... All your base are belong to us? |
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Must go eat the contents of the desiccant package now. |
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It doesn't say 'Do not eat contents', it says 'Do not eat'. Period. So if you buy a computer or stereo or whatever, you're required to starve to death shortly thereafter. |
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have you ever read the side effects on pill bottles?
e.g. aspirin may cause headaches, sleeping pills may make you drowsy, stomach medicines may cause constipation or dispepsia, inhalers may make you breathless etc etc ad nauseum |
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The best is in my (very great) Rowenta Professional iron instruction booklet: "Do not attempt to iron clothes while wearing them." True! |
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More clear instuctions would also help. I once spent 3 days continuously washing my hair until my buddy came over and told me that I only had to lather, rinse, and repeat once to clean my hair thoroughly. [+] |
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"LABEL - small adhesive text-bearing
sticker carrying instructions." |
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The keyboard on my computer does not make is clear what each key does. Under this scheme each key would be labelled "Press this key to type an 'A' character. Press in combination with the SHIFT key to produce an 'a' character, unless CAPS-LOCK is illuminated then this action is reversed. Do not lick this key, Repeated use of this key may cause RSI. If this occurs see your Doctor".
Keyboards will have to be much bigger ;) |
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Since I'm here...
"This is the cow. She must be milked every
morning so that she will produce milk, and
the milk must be boiled in order to be
mixed with coffee to make coffee and
milk." |
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Step 1 of every instruction label should be "1. Read instructions." |
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How about a big, shiny, red button? Underneath, write "Do not press the red button". |
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I think this might have been done before, but I can't remember...HHGTTG? |
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It was a black button. When you pressed it, it lit up with black letters on a black background. |
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st3f - you READ 100 Years of
Solitude????!!!! Did you get to the end?
I never made it that far but have always
been curious to know if anyone did, and
whether it was worth the journey. |
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