h a l f b a k e r yThis product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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The applications for this item are endless, as the result is a dramatic and undeniable reason to leave a room. When having a difficult conversation with a dating partner, when asked a business question that you are unprepared to answer, when trying to impress children, when attending a boring dinner
with family or friends, this item is the perfect solution. I would have invented this item a long time ago, but I realize how quickly it will catch on and sell, making it useless; people will realize that 99% of nose bleeds are shams and real nose bleeds will be treated like boy-who-cried-wolf stories.
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Annotation:
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You forgot "mating call for anime fans" in the list of uses... |
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I already have this product. It is called Coumadin (Warfarin) and my doctor makes me take it. |
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Standing and talking to a friend. He has a white carpet. In between one word and the next my nose is gushing onto his pristine rug. |
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Not embarassing, not at all. Now where's that transparent nosepicker?... |
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Serves him right...What kind of weirdo has a white carpet? |
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This reminds me of a great way to get out of a speeding ticket: Every time my friend's been pulled over (he did this twice when I was there), he jabbed his nose so it bled and the cop let us go with a quick warning. |
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Gospel: I got nosebleeds 5 weeks in a row during televised Hockey season[before hockey was hip] @ '76 on Sunday mornings. It was great. I didn't have to go to Sunday school/church for 5 weeks! Cause unknown. Could it be...Satan? |
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