If your vapid, insipid existence is a constant reminder of how little people actually like you, simply berate others and act like you're better than them by forging a remarkable and opulent past for yourself, based on other people's ideas, experiences and anecdotes.
This is an instant fix - all you
need is one phrase. This is it:
"I've seen/heard/done that years ago."
There you go. It fits any occassion. If you're feeling inadequate because the postman is telling you what fun he had in Bangkok last March, just say "I done that years ago," and slam the door in his face.
That young whippersnapper at the office getting everybody's attention with bright new ideas? Simply stand up in the middle of his or her presentation and bellow "I heard that years ago!".
You don't even need to qualify yourself. If anybody questions you, just wave your hand irritably, look grumpy and storm off.
Nobody will like you any better, but everyone will think you're multifacted and well-versed for at least three minutes.