h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Innuendo Cafe
Wouldn't it be great if you could sit down at a nice restaurant and order naughty items from the menu? | |
The meals served at this restaurant would be right-tasty cuisine, but the names would all have some slang reference to sexual terms, just for giggles. This wouldn't necessarily be an adults-only restaurant, but the jokes would go over the kids' heads while the adults all laugh at the things they order.
Example
menu items:
* Hot Buns - free, warmed bread
* Hand Job - finger food
* Filthy Sanchez - "garbage" nachos (with everything on them)
* Sloppy Seconds - yesterday's Sloppy Joe
* Ham Wallet - a fine ham sandwich
* Hot Gobbler - roast turkey sandwich
* Baloney Pony - Balogna sandwich, possibly with some pony-shaped bread or garnish
* Fish Tacos / Flog the Dolphin - fish tacos
* Chimichangas - chimichangas
* Tube Steak - A fine sausage or a funly shaped cut of steak
* Hide the Sausage - sausages covered with other ingredients
* Bearded Clam - Clam dish or Oysters served with "beards" of cheese and spinach
* Pork Sandwich - pork sandwich
* Doggie Style / Hot Dog in a Hallway - cocktail wienies in an over-sized bun
* Beans and Franks - hot dogs and barbecue beans
* Choke the Chicken - some sort of chicken dish
* Boner - slab of ribs
* Flash Your Rack - rack of lamb
* Bits 'n' Pieces - a fine mish-mash of various veggies
* Toss Your Salad? - a lovely bowl of fresh greens and various other goodies
* Spotted Dick - Spotted Dick :)
* Cream Pie - some sort of fluffy dessert
* Take a Cherry - add a cherry to your drink of choice
* Black Cherry - chocolate covered cherry dessert
* Brownie - brownie
* Boob Juice - milk
* Melons - fruit plate of watermelon, honeydew, and cantaloupe
* Nut Sack / Bust a Nut - a nutty dessert or hazelnut drink
* Spank the Monkey - mashed banana dessert
I'm sure there are plenty of other possibilities. Got any special requests?
Dirty Slang Dictionary
http://www.scribd.c...ty-Slang-Dictionary
Just another list of fun terms [XSarenkaX, Oct 13 2010]
Sex-Lexis.com
http://www.sex-lexis.com/
Look up naughty terms or browse [XSarenkaX, Oct 14 2010]
rude food names
http://blogs.laweek...en-rude-food-names/
[xandram, Oct 14 2010]
Obligatory Link
http://www.milkinfi...y/profanisaurus.htm
fish mitten, vampire's teabags, egg mcwhiff etc etc [calum, Oct 15 2010]
Moebius Strip Club
Mobius_20Strip_20Club
[theircompetitor, Oct 17 2010]
[link]
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Well done! Great to see you on here, [XSarenkaX]. [+] |
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Hurray, praise! It's been literally years since I had an original idea worth posting at the Halfbakery. Back in the beginning, I was just pouring them out onto the screen - then I ran out of ideas and stopped. |
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God I wish I didn't read that. |
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[doctorremulac3]: You have no idea how proud your comment made me feel. Thanks! |
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What fun, XSX! I'm always in awe of your ability to
flash your sexuality in public like the way you do.
Yay! |
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[blissmiss]! Fancy seeing YOU here. I'm so sorry I've been absent from the 'bakery for so long. Its great to be back. |
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Sexuality ain't nothin' but a thang anyway. Glad it made you smile. |
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Ooh, "flash" gave me another idea. (I keep adding ones as I think of them, by the way.) |
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* Knee trembler - the waitress will 'accidentally' kick
you in the shin while rushing past on her way to
another table.
* A nice pair - a nice
pear
* Massive cock - chicken, actually |
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* Innuendo Special - An enormous Kookwurst embedded in a butternut pumpkin. |
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* Meat and two veg - meat and two vegetables (thanks to Benny Hill) |
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* Hair pie - coconut cream pie topped with toasted coconut. |
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* Little man in a boat - gingerbread man with dipping caramel |
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* Hummer - apple cider a bit past its expiration date |
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Good to see you back, [XSarenkaX]! |
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* Pork sword - pork sword |
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My friend has done this on many occasion, sneaking
innuendo into his menus, and providing the waiting
staff with opportunity to giggle as unsuspecting
members of the public order increasingly rude
items. |
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Toad in the hole - Toad in the hole |
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Old Mother Hubbard - Sausage baked in pastry, doggy style. |
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As a table decoration, a portrait of the customer composed on a plate of dried spices. Cumin My Face. |
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+ haha, too early for me to think right now, but I'm sure laughing!!! (I'll try to put my dirty mind in gear soon!) I can't believe no one ordered a Vagina Jam and Penis butter sandwich! (well, that's not really innuendo- is it?) |
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"Hallo, innuendo cafe. Yes, we take reservations. When? Yes, we have a slot we can fit you into. Great, well if you've got nothing on we'll be happy to have you." |
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* "milkshake" - milkshake
//Cumin My Face// - clever! |
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* 3 way lay = 3 eggs over easy
* well stacked = pancakes
* morning wood = dry toast |
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I'll have a big portion please. |
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Many great additions, guys! Keep it coming. ;) |
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* Cheesy knob - a chunk of mature cheddar |
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* Lesbian sisters - two papalina (freshly salted sardines) from the Gulf of Kalloni |
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Massive Jugs - Beverage of choice, served in capacious pouring vessels. |
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Butt Monkey - A primate served in a rainwater barrel. |
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Double Entendre - any cocktail ordered by a female, so the bartneder can give her one. |
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* Whore's doovers - menu sub-heading |
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* to go “all the way” - 3 courses inclusive |
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To be sure, your drink selection will include tang. Yes? |
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* In Your End Oh= roasted butt portions
* Hide the Pickle = sandwich w/ pickle slices
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The bill and the gratuity should be printed on separate reciepts so the diner can give the waiter/waitress "just the tip". |
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*MMF - Milkshake & Monster Fries
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Looks like a hard "HUGE" bun to me. Sort of... |
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Leg opener - small chicken drumsticks served as entré.
Menage-a-trois - three different mains/meats on one plate.
Vah-Jay-Jay - vegetable and juniper juice (that the best I could come up with to fit VJJ...) |
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I can see this restaurant attracting a large clientele, but the
problem is that 13-year-old schoolboys don't often have the
spending power to sustain a business. |
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* bun in the oven - a freshly baked bread roll |
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I think they're all at the restaurant, ogling the waitresses and hoping they'll be able to lick the err... plates, clean. |
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I think the cafe should be called "The Y". |
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We'll be dining at The Y tonight, darling. |
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*Creamed Jeans - A soup that looks a lot like cream of cauliflower, served in a denim patterned bowl. |
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*Ben Dover Sole - White fish, poached with a little butter, lemon, parsley and salt and pepper. |
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*Rollover Baby - Dessert, prepared and ready to go then flipped upside down and presented with a dollop of butter in the middle. |
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"Boob juice" would hardly sail over the kids heads. |
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Limit the menu to German and Mexican dishes and name the restaurant "Herr Taco". |
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"Rape Roman Style" = Monkfish (Anglerfish) in romano sauce. |
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Found in actual English menu section from Spanish "Rape a la Romana"
Tasty, BTW. |
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O.T. Also included Clamps for Clams and Sea Nails as Sea Snails |
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*carpet munch - a crispy salad sandwich made on extra-large slices of bread. |
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*Parsley Burger - What it says on the menu, unshaven. |
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*Huge pair of tits - it's just a regular BLT but with an hilarious
name. |
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*Big Lesbian Twat - it's just a regular BLT but with an offputting name. |
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* Baby Batter with Runny Honey - mini pancakes with syrup |
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Not *everybody's* cup of tea. |
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Cleveland Steamer - hot fudge sundae. |
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Whenever I hear someone say "not my cup of tea" in
future, I will instantly picture them gargling firemen. |
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This menu is basically everything mentioned in Deuce
Bigalo, eg. Turkish Snowcone. |
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Presumably I'd have to put on my best pearl necklace before visiting? |
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EDIT: Also, "Shank of Love" - The chef's special lamb shank. |
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"Excuse me miss, what is this fly doing in my schtoop dujour?" |
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Thanks for this whimsy, [XSX]! Buns up, baby! [+] |
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*Last Tango in Paris - orange flavour fizzy drink,
served with butter |
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Two on one: A double cheeseburger.
Gangbang: appetizer sampler.
S&M: sandwich and mashed potatoes.
Cockring: fried chicken arranged in a circle.
Whiskeydick: Sausage sautéed in a whiskey sauce.
Fudgepacker: Pastry filled with nutella. |
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I love that this post is adding so much joy to the HB world. I'm sure there are thousands of other menu items I've never heard of yet. Enlighten me, friends. |
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//Also a half decent contraceptive (well it worked for me).// |
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Apparently not. You're still here, however ill-conceived. |
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Lick Yours - Liqueurs, of course |
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* I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours - can I have the bill please? /or/ would you like to see the bill? |
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I really shouldn't say "marblecake".
Yogurt slinger:
yogurt in a gel shell.
honeypot: honey
confection.
bukkake: Japanese noodles (really!
look it up) |
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Dammit [voice] I have been hoping all week to think of an Asian food of that name but not daring to google for it. Anyway, a tip of the hat to you for this one. I'll take a double order of it! |
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Yeah, beat me to it as well. I was going to go with Boo Cakey. A lovely sponge cake served with multiple splashes of single cream, to be consumed whilst being heckled by the staff. |
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* cum shot - vodka with single cream |
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* Bust a Nut - Shelled walnuts, peanuts, or pistachios, with a mallet |
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//with a mallet// stiletto, shirley. |
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I remember a joke Chinese menu which featured such dishes as 'Wot kun fu dat (tossed salad)' |
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wow - I can't believe we've gotten this far without a single reference to jerked meat! |
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* bump & grind - fresh herbs served in a mini mortar & pestle, as a seasoning |
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