h a l f b a k e r yThis would work fine, except in terms of success.
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Sally requires an EpiPen® Auto-Injector to counter an allergic peanut reaction, should she ever again eat any. The hand-held tube-shaped drug delivery system with spring-activated, concealed needle would be hit onto her skin to administer the medicine.
Like an allergic reaction, so is an attack of
anger something that could be countered with a dose of a fast-acting calming drug from an Auto-Injector.
When the frequently angry person in your life has an attack of unreasonable anger, do not attempt discussion, debate, debacle. Simply reach for their Anger Auto-Injector and apply it swiftly. Life can return to normal and much anquish spared.
EpiPen® Auto-Injector
http://www.allerex.ca/epi.htm [Mustardface, Jan 23 2005]
[link]
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Auto-inject yourself too, while you're at it. You deserve some relaxation. Ahhh... |
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It is very noticeable that some humans, often - but not always - female, tend to behave in an unhelpful way when unexpectedly confronted with one of life's occasion little difficulties (a flat tyre, a cancelled train, a lost credit card), panicking, screeching, and becoming ineffectively tearful. |
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What is absolutely required is a short period of calm reflection, to assess the situation and evaluate the possible courses of action. |
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What is not required is a prolonged bout of noisy low-grade hysterics, unaccompanied by rational analysis. |
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In such circumstances, it would be extremely useful to have available an autoinjector filled with a carefully designed blend of fast-acting short-term tranquilizers, muscle relaxants, and antidepressants. |
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Rapidly deployed to the perpetrator at the onset of the emotional outburst, this will allow the necessary time to take remedial action, while neatly distracting the target by the unexpected sensation of having a small, sharp hypodermic driven hard into a major muscle group. |
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Not if she's met you before. |
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Like there's ever a second time ... ? |
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I think you'd be better off with a syringe full of alcohol - try 20-40cc and, if that doesn't work, give her some as well. |
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This might cut both ways. One can imagine being pre-emptively
injected with a cocktail of adrenaline, amphetamines, cocaine,
anabolic steroids and really strong tea; "Don't just stand there
thinking; do something!" Or maybe that's just me. |
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Alcohol seems to be a contributory cause, rather than a potential remedy, so no. |
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No, I have teetotal inlaws who do this hysteria business to a treat. |
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You could offer a saline solution placebo effect version.
May
or may not work but at least you could stab them in the
butt
with it. |
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I've found that when people are throwing a fit, you just
tell
them to calm down and they'll instantly stop and thank
you
for your advice. Don't say it too forcefully though, you
don't want them to
calm down so much that they pass out. |
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Those two words are extremely powerful, use them with
care. In fact, you might be better off sticking them in the
butt with a needle and explaining it's placebo effect
calming juice. If this doesn't work just tell them to calm
down again. |
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