h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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recently, an exchange-student friend of mine from uni started exploring the swearing dimension of the english language. When I caught wind of this, not only did I find it hillarious, but also unlike any trype of profanity commonly used.
The things he was saying were generally just disturbing, and
really really inappropriate, and not neccesarily vulgar.
I think what he was doing was a mixing between what he percieves as offensive in English, and direct translations from profanities in his native tongue (Polish)....whatever, its a bizzaro combo
Some of the things he said
"I'm going to spray you all over me" (to a guy)
"I'll take that, rip it up, and shove it up my OWN ass" (to me)
"get on top of me" (to a guy in another car following a small episode of road rage)
"you're making me hard" (in a beach yolleyball game to the opposing team)
and several more i just cant remember.
Just hearing these types of innappropriate, disturbing derrogatory comments used in such wrong context is so confusing, that you forget the issue that brought them up. The situation becomes one of awkward silences, confused looks, and perhaps (as in my case) a chuckle or two....in most cases though, I believe if profanities like this were used, more situations would be diffused due to sheer confusion and awkwardness.
Seize the day ...
http://www.bawls.com/
and drink Bawls. [reensure, Sep 14 2005]
[link]
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There is an obvious reason why smutty talk is nearly always so poorly done: lack of practice. |
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Some folk just know how to nail one down. |
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Ha! Unfortunately, it seems like an excellent companion to ‘Use Bizarre Metaphors,’ which was MFD’d, and 'confuse and bewilder people,' which was not. |
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//Some folk just know how to nail one down.// |
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Yeah, the truly talented will now precisely whether to use:
"Shut the f*** up" or
"F***in' shut it." |
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At my work we sometimes translate english swearwords directly, literally, into our own language. If I reverse the process you would get something like this: |
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Hopping vagina. (about a girl) |
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(funny if you are in the mood) |
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That's the snizel, iszil? |
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Ball bag is a term of endearment here. |
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"Ball bag," you might say when greeting a male friend/colleague. It's synonomous with "maaate". |
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What an intercoursing stupid idea. Bun |
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I'll write your name on my balls! |
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The more Scottish version of "Ball bag" is much better:
"Baw Bag"
or the more sedate "Baw Heid" |
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In Greek we say: I'll write your name on my balls when we want to express how unimportant someone is. |
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One I like here is "Schlappschwanz", meaning wimp or wuss but which literally means "limp-dick". |
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My Chinese engineering friends refer to calling someone a "duck" or a "chicken" when suggesting they are seedy-types (suggesting that they sell themselves for sex etc.) No idea why. My IM conversations with them are weird too. Some of the swearing we use translates poorly into Chinese, so they tell me. |
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I wouldn't give your two balls for this. |
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[shinobi]'s spelling is right next to my testes. If he doesn't learn how to spell "hilarious" and "uncomfortable", I'm going to reap the rewards of my eyebrow's ventilation all over him.
That was my impression of a swearing Polish exchange student. |
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I learned one day in Spain, that, "Do you have eggs?" when
translated into Spanish and asked of a male without any
preamble means something like, "Do you want to fight me
you woman?" |
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I said "tienes huevos" to him meaning did he have any eggs
i could buy, but he thought I mean did he want to fight, "I
doubt that you have the balls to fight me." |
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So, what /do/ you say to a Spanish shopkeeper when you want to make an omelette but also want to avoid personal injury? The likelihood that I'll ever need the phrase is marginal, but I ask out of idle cullinary curiousity. |
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¿puede I sus cohones en una cesta? |
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this will go well with my inappropriate swelling |
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I dont know, maybe, "Tienes huevos para comer?" Or
maybe its context like, "Hola, tengo hambre, tienes
huevos?" |
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This idea reminds me of the crazy cat lady throwing cats and yelling some uninteligible words (from Simpsons). |
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I see this as a basic survival strategy .... fight ... flight ... do something crazy or confusing
[+] |
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Try: "Buenos dias señor. Vende usted huevos?" then mutter "...stupid non english-speaking retard..." |
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