h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO (Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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Have you ever gone shopping and forgotten your list? Have you ever just needed one more thing but couldnt remember what it was? Did your honey say, Please pick me a ***** when you go to the store? If you have any of these problems, just look for the little booth somewhere between the service desk and
the restrooms where the In-Store Psychic can help you remember. Just let him/her run their hands over your charge card, checkbook or even a ten-dollar bill freshly removed from your wallet. You will be asked a series of relevant questions, which you must answer honestly for this to work. Then you will eventually be guided to at least the correct department.
Fees are applied individually. If you do not remember what you need, there is no charge for the service.
Supermarket Pirates
Supermarket Pirates Just seemed appropriate somehow. [zen_tom, May 02 2007]
[link]
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Rather than play the Harry Potter card and MFD this, I will instead suggest replacing the gypsy circus folk with qualified hypnotists who can help you remember what you may have forgotten. |
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There really is no magic involved. Psychics do what they do, whether it works for you or not. |
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//Please pick me a *****// brings home
five blank tins joined at the base, each one
displaying an asterix. (+) magical |
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Perhaps instead the store could lend or
rent split hazel twigs. Shoppers could
then dowse for the missing item. |
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<spooky manner>
[xandram], I knew you were going to post this. </spooky manner> |
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In a world where everyone is trying to sell something, trusting any message becomes quite a dilemma. |
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There's an advert at the moment (for a chocolate bar) that shows a pretty young lady looking in her fridge for chocolate (it's been scoffed by her absent, naturally chocolate hungry flatmates) she repairs to the bedroom, where hidden under the bed, in a box of girly things, she's got a secret stash of chocolate. "Thank goodness, nobody knows about this place" she tells herself as she snaps off a piece and indulges herself in a stylised piece of sepia-toned secret binging. |
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The opportunity to be wrenched out of this memory sapping requirement for analysis (whether provided by a wizened crone, or ensuited hypnotist) would be welcome. I went to the shop only the other day, walked about the isles thinking, "What was that one thing I specifically came here to get?" bought some default items, hoping that I might hit the requirement by accident - dragged the whole lot home - and then, as I'm unpacking it, finally remember that I wanted to get some more coffee. [+] |
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//walked about the isles thinking// - was this an archipelago-based supermarket? ("Ah! Deli Island - I'll buy some salami, I think") |
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Yarr! This was a sea-fairer's supermarket. You turn up at the door and step into your boat which is then piloted around the flooded supermarket. A huge fan provides a constant Nor-Nor-East, propelling you under a good head of wind into the fruit and veg isles, the Gateway to the shop. After you've knocked enough groceries off the shelves and into your boat, you then have to perfect your tacking skills and get back to the tills. |
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//a sea-fairer's supermarket// - were there aquatic dodgems? - or did you mean "seafarer"? |
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[+] to [zen_tom] for managing to steer the conversation towards piracy. |
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//or did you mean "seafarer"?// Oh no, it was most definitely a sea-fairer's market. Populated with people who's task in life is to ensure that the sea remains completely impartial in all things, harbouring no favouritism to anyone, and eschewing dogems of all description. |
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\\And yet if you installed a suited-up financial trader in the same position, everybody'd trust that person to somehow know what's about to happen in the future. Funny old world\\ |
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That's not a bad idea in itself. For the people who see the weekly shop as a potential investment. |
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Well, [zen_tom],//" What was that one thing I specifically came here to get?"// was exactly my inspiration for this idea, but I must thank you for getting [marklar]'s vote, as he wanted to mfd at first. |
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