h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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Impress-A-Date (tm)
"Ohh! I love the way you handled those 3 ninjas who jumped us in the alley!" | |
A service priced for every budget.
Our starter pack, $99.95: Beautiful woman tells your date in the bathroom: "Ohh, honey, what a hunk, he's a keeper!"
Our deluxe, 299.95: Add an old lady trying to cross the street who hits other guys who try to help her across with her purse but showers you with
praise when you help her. Includes vicious barking dog specially trained to run away yelping when shown a special hand signal you'll use.
The Score, $599.95: Includes a surprise attack by 3 ninjas who's butts you effortlessly beat, the old broad, the dog and the hot chick in the bathroom.
Even if she catches on, she'll be impressed that you went through all that trouble.
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Hardly a new idea - this has occurred in various sitcoms for as long as I can remember. |
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...and in "Back to the Future". |
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Just give her the 600 bucks to spend on a dress & shoes for the date. Much more effective. |
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Then there's always girls you can pay the $600 to
directly if you're looking for a more "short term"
relationship. |
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Why pay one girl $600 for a short term relationship when you could pay 6 girls $100 for a short term social? |
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I remember a short-story mystery based on this idea, from 'way back. The be-spectacled "hero" fought a big bruiser who'd insulted the girl, and, after taking many blows to the chest, decked the lout (which cost extra). She stormed off without giving him any dessert. Why? He'd tucked his glasses into his shirt pocket, and pulled them out unbroken. |
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Paying a man to get physical was apparently okay in those days, but paying a woman wasn't. |
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//$100 for a short term social// |
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Of $50 for a short term fac... |
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We did this one once but it's gone now.
I remember annoing something like;
"...then several sharp dressed men in mirrored sunglasses speaking into their wrists about national security escort you away...you know, to set the mood for the second date. " |
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