h a l f b a k e r yCall Ambulance,
Rebuild Kitchen.
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Inspired by wowbagger's idea. Instead of having FAs buckling a
seatbelt while a DVD plays in the background, turn the safety
briefing into an immersive (but fun) simulation for the passengers.
As the plane begins to push back all of the cabin lights go out and
the presentation begins. Subwoofers
vibrate the floor and
simulate
airplane crashing noises. Orange lights flicker across the ceiling to
represent flames. Fog fills the cabin. A booming voice narrates
by saying "The aircraft
has crashed, please locate the nearest exit immediately!" followed
by a spotlight illuminating the exit. The sound of wind begins
rushing through the cabin and the FA shouts for the passengers to
put on their own oxygen masks, before assisting others.
-this doesn't actually require oxygen masks to drop or life jackets
to
be donned, the instructions can be demonstrated byt the FA just
like
on a regular flight but with more flare.
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Annotation:
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Who would pay for having most of the seats
cleaned afterwards ? |
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This would scare the bejazus out of the
majority of airline passengers. [+]. |
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//A booming voice narrates by saying "The aircraft
has crashed, please locate the nearest exit
immediately!" followed by// several passengers
(who have snoozed through the preamble) leaping
up and trampling eachother on the way to the
exits. Those that reach the doors first yank the
emergency opening lever, jettisoning the
expensive doors and activating the evacuation
ramps. |
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Maybe a better approach would be to have a quiz
after the briefing. Three or four random
passengers would be selected (or normal
passengers could be selected randomly), and any
that fail to answer some simple safety questions
are deplaned. |
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The quiz is a good idea, free beverage for getting it right,
maybe being taken off the flight is a little harsh but they
could be made to eat an extra meal as punishment... |
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// any that fail to answer some simple safety questions are deplaned. // |
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... without the benefit of steps. |
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// they could be made to eat an extra meal as punishment // |
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No, being thrown out at 26000 ft without a parachute would be kinder. |
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If they first played the mid-air collision scene from the film
adaptation of Fight Club with the sound cranked all the
way up, I think most passengers would pay close attention
to the following demonstration (or anything that came
next, for that matter). |
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//26000 ft without a parachute// That imposes an
unnecessary decompression on the other
passengers, as well as costing more on fuel. Given
that terminal velocity is reached within about a
thousand feet... |
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