Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I'm no loser

 Never lose anything...ever
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Everyone has, at some point, left their phone or wallet somewhere, and presumably regreted it. I certainly did (regret it i mean). So i have devised a method for avoiding this. You place a tiny sticky reciever (about the size of the paper that hole-punches make) on to all the items you don't want to lose. Then you place the other half of the device on your person. (Not in your pocket because thats how you lost your phone). This device has a speaker and a recorder and is triggered when you are over a certain distance from the tiny sticky receivers. So, when you inevitably leave your wallet on a bus and make for the exit the device is triggered and your pre recorded message sounds. Anything can be recorded however some starters for 10 might be "i've just had a baby and i can't even look after my phone", "Yes this is an erection, i left my phone on the seat" or "Holy crap this bus is friggin awesome i don't think i'm going to get off."
—icanicant, Jun 01 2006

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       Waiting for the RFID or something bit, again.   

       // "my phone fell out whilst i was touching myself "//   

       Well, at least you'll know that nobody will want it.
—skinflaps, Jun 01 2006
   

       Ive kinda always wanted something sorta like this.
—epicproblem, Jun 01 2006
   

       I would just let Mini-Me carry eveything.
—xandram, Jun 01 2006
   

       Oh well.   

       There was a interesting story concerning a government official who lost his mobile phone at a airport.His phone went missing from his bag whilst going through customs.The government guy whipped out his laptop, enabled the GPS on his pc to locate the missing phone.It traced it straight to the pocket of one of the guys working at the zone.   

       Picked on the wrong person, I suppose.
—skinflaps, Jun 01 2006
   

       //This device has a speaker and a recorder and is triggered when you are over a certain distance from the tiny sticky receivers.//   

       So don't leave it turned on when you're around the house, then.
—moomintroll, Jun 01 2006
   

       I once lost a rubber chicken.   

       Honestly. It was in my bags at check-in. I didn't realise cos my bags were 'lost' and I only got them back at the end of my 3 week holiday. The guys at US customs must stole it. I've never forgiven them. F**kers.
—Jinbish, Jun 01 2006
   


 

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