Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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ICan’tBelieveIt’sNotRentisham’s

 Made with pure used chip oil and plaster-of-paris
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Do you have orphaned baby goldfish that you need to feed? Looking for a facial application to confuse security cameras? Thinking of entering the second qualifying heat of a seal-drawn sleigh race but the runners on your sleigh are loose? Or do you just worry about the rate of growth of your nasal hair due to your over-reliance on the original product?

Well worry no more. ICan’tBelieveIt’sNotRentisham’s is made from the finest* ingredients, plus a host of censored additives which almost (but not quite) approximate the real thing. Retailing at up to 50% more than the original, just to make you believe it is superior. Bulk orders available.

(*As in most slender, regarding cost)

—pocmloc, Apr 16 2018

transforms two atoms into a single molecule. http://www.techtime...antum-computing.htm
[not_morrison_rm, Apr 17 2018]

A tin of Rentisham's. http://www.rentisha...Inside%20story.html
[MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2018]

The European stone stacking championship is coming to Dunbar http://www.bbc.co.u...ropean-championship
[not_morrison_rm, Apr 21 2018]

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       Veblensham's
—calum, Apr 16 2018
   

       We smell lawsuits ...
—8th of 7, Apr 16 2018
   

       Now available in spray-can!
—RayfordSteele, Apr 16 2018
   

       I know how MB must be feeling, shades of me own "Recursive, geared-down, chopsticks" notion being pirated out somewhere in Shenzen province..   

       What do I see on Tech Times.." Using laser tweezers, a team of Harvard University scientist nudges one sodium and one caesium together to form a molecule."   

       Lazer tweezers? Oh yeah, and that sonic screwdriver you got for Xmas.
—not_morrison_rm, Apr 17 2018
   

       Rentisham's legal department will be in touch shortly, [poc]. His name is Angus.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 17 2018
   

       He never mentioned it when I saw him this morning. Though in his defense, he was incredibly drunk, even though it was before breakfast. I told him last night that he should probably not start a 10 hour pub crawl at midnight. He said he had enjoyed the one he was just finishing so much, that he thought a second would be a nice finish to a nice day.
—pocmloc, Apr 18 2018
   

       Ah good. That'll be the "lulling into a false sense of security" part done, then.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2018
   

       Is this the same "flamethrower" Angus whos breath caught fire at the Samhain Bonfire ?   

       We thought he had spontaneously combusted months ago …
—8th of 7, Apr 18 2018
   

       He had. But he's not one to let things like that interfere with the job.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2018
   

       "Rentisham's - does what it says on the completely blank tin"
—hippo, Apr 18 2018
   

       Ahem. May I refer you to the illustration in <link>? Our packaging has always been soothingly uncluttered, but never "blank". Is it possible that you have been sold an inferior product by an unscrupulous vendor?
—MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2018
   

       //an inferior product by an unscrupulous vendor// I'm not convinced such a thing exists.
—pocmloc, Apr 18 2018
   

       You've obviously never driven a Citroen 2CV then.
—RayfordSteele, Apr 18 2018
   

       //May I refer you to the illustration in <link>?// - ah yes, I must have been thinking of the short-lived "Rentisham's Lite" product.
—hippo, Apr 19 2018
   

       Possibly. That one was an attempt by our marketing department to capture the American market. It never took off, mainly because Rentisham's is not allowed to be sold outside the UK.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 20 2018
   

       Or sold, period...
—RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2018
   

       I was under the impression that the head gamekeeper's assistant,Yoshihara-san, the one who always wearing black pyjamas, and the off-putting habit of bisecting flying insects with a blade - was the one who dealt with those trifling matters of intellectual property rights?   

       Oddly enough on the Beeb website, "The European stone stacking championship is coming to Dunbar." Can it be a bit of a slow news day?
—not_morrison_rm, Apr 21 2018
   

       Yoshi does handle most IP disputes, but at the moment he's still on his way back from Dunbar.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 21 2018
   


 

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