h a l f b a k e r yQuis custodiet the custard?
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Human pet
Make money with this career and make another person happy | |
The human pet store has different types of trained and
licensed human pets. Some will greet you happily and must
have a run with you in the evening and given food every day
in a corner.
Others roam around freely and open the closets taking food
for themselves and dropping things on the floor.
You can have swimming human pets or caged human pets,
and even flying human pets (paraglider included).
Some make intelligible sounds, others can even speak,
usually shouting obscene words or just repeating what has
been said in their vicinity.
They have signed a contract of what they are willing to
endure with you, as long as you are friendly enough and give
them the basic treatment they need.
The human pet agency checks every once in a while that you
are not abusing your human pet and are taking good care of
it.
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Is this not the same as marriage? |
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No, because the person paying for it all also derives some actual benefit, however small, from the arrangement - rather than just being there to settle the bills, lift heavy objects when required, deal with miniscule spiders, and generally take the blame for everything* that goes wrong. |
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*Including, but not limited to, the War of the Spanish Succession, the El Niño effect, syphilis, the extinction of the Dodo, and Arsenal losing at home to Manchester United in the second round of the 1953 F.A. Cup. |
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Seems like slavery to me. It is not weeding and picking cotton, but it has got the same smell. |
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Can they leave? Do they get wages? Is sex optional? Can they go to school? Art children involved? Do they pick their own names and costumes? Can they be sold to new owners? |
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You have disturbingly low standards for what qualifies as a job, [IT]. |
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[xenie] you always make me laugh, always. |
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