Human Toothpaste Tube Toilet

Two of the problems for using a sit-down toilet for number twos are the angle of sitting and the difficulty of raising intra-abdominal pressure.

The first is more specifically that if you sit on the toilet, your rectum will tend to assume an inefficient angle for bowel movements and it becomes difficult to void it. This is resolved by squatting or using a foot rest, which works fairly well.

The second, however, is more complex. I won't go into too much detail but clearly some people get into difficulties.

My solution is to use some kind of vertical squeezing frame over the bowl. On answering the call of nature, you climb into a contraption which folds the knee-bent legs upwards while holding the torso vertically, then gently but firmly compresses the abdomen in a sweeping downward movement, thereby extruding the bowel contents nicely through a wide opening into the water below. Like a toothpaste tube in other words. It then spray-cleans your anus and dries it in a blast of warm air before releasing you.

My only question is this: would it also extrude your haemorrhoids?