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Every bloody time I buy, do, eat, use or visit something, I
sooner or later get a request to rate that item, activity,
food, facility or attraction. All the people who were once
employed to enhance customer satisfaction (ie, to do
stuff) are now employed to monitor customer feedback.
These
feedings-back are generally online. I therefore
propose a browser extension which, whenever it detects a
feedback form being completed, automatically sends an
email to the relevant organisation asking it to rate the
quality of my feedback.
In this way, I will be able to enhance my feeding-back
activity to best meet the needs of these companies.
Shoe Event Horizon
http://hitchhikers..../Shoe_Event_Horizon
There is implicit in this idea a Feedback Event Horizon, analagous to the Shoe Event Horizon [hippo, Oct 02 2015]
[link]
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Utterly inadequately fed back, especially that last bit where you proposed to stuff the product into a burlap bag full of cats and toss it into a nearby body of water. We might also remind you that in initiating this action you will no doubt run the risk of invalidating your warranty, as well as your cats. |
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I propose as an accessory, an independent feedback response ratings service, perhaps called Welp, where backfeeders can rate the experience of dealing with the feedback quality ratings mechanism. |
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This brings to mind the, "you scratch my back, I'll scratch
yours" mentality. |
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Probably because you mentioned "back" so much. |
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But then again, it does apply in this instance. So...Yes.
Hmmm. |
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Thank you all. We at MaxCo. value your annotations,
in order that we can enhance our forthcoming ideas
and be proactive in meeting the expectations of our
stakeholders, effectively and in a real-world
environment. MaxCo. - today, tomorrow, tomato. |
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This should be an app... the i-rate. |
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Ah, but how else will you know what to ignore? |
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Thanks for the giggle guys, I needed it. |
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// you proposed to stuff the product into a burlap bag full of cats and toss it into a nearby body of water. We might also remind you that in initiating this action you will no doubt run the risk of invalidating your warranty, as well as your cats. // |
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Actually, he's contracted that out to the Borg Collective for some years now. In fact it's how we first made contact. It's quicker, less trouble and the price is very reasonable. What's more, he even lets us pay him on net monthly account. |
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... 6) In your opinion my feedback was sent back in a
timely fashion: a) Strongly agree b) Somewhat agree
c) Disagree d) Strongly disagree |
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7) In your opinion, my having time to fill out
feedback forms to faceless corporations is indicative
of the lonely bored consumer you're looking to
target: n: a) Strongly agree b) Somewhat agree c)
Disagree d) Strongly disagree |
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8) In your opinion, these forms were something that
useless and overpaid middle management came up
with on one of their expensive "business retreats" to
keep people from asking what they pay their
department for: a) Strongly agree b) Somewhat agree
c) Disagree d) Don't give a shit |
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Seriously though, "Don't care" should be an actual
selection on feedback forms. Presumably you're
trying to gauge your customers to see how you can
change your service for the better. If you're putting a
great deal of effort into folding your napkins into
origami kangaroos for your Australian themed
restaurant and nobody cares, you might want to drop
the idea. In this case, origami kangaroo napkins for
an Australian themed restaurant are a spectacular
idea, but just giving that as an example. |
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Are any politicians sending out these feedback requests? |
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Yes, they do it every few years, and you get to tick a
box indicating the politician you least distrust. |
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Tripadvisor sends feedback in response to reviews left. I
think it's quite common. Airbnb have a similar system.
Ultimately it's all a bit tiresome. |
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How good was my annotation? Please break down your
response into suitable categories and scale from 0 to 10,
where 10 means supreme, and zero means I come looking
for you accompanied by a trained attack hyena fitted with
a silencer to quell the sound of your splintering leg bones. |
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This phrase was also coined by Jimi Hendrix.
Probably. |
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Can one still get a PhD for "Ooh look; meta-ness"? I thought all those had been given out years ago. |
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[Ian] Interesting, that thing about channels developing conventions that only permit a range of content. Have you read Edward Tufte's essay "The Cognitive Style of Powerpoint"? He proposes the idea that the medium of Powerpoint fundamentally changes the content of what people are trying to communicate through it, forcing a filtered, 'chunked' template on complex narrative messages. He analyses the Powerpoint presentation done by engineers to managers prior to the Challenger shuttle disaster to show that crucial information was lost because the medium of Powerpoint made it almost impossible to communicate. |
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Some experience suggests that the cognitive bottleneck there might have been in the audience, not in the medium. |
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I prefer to think of this as a rant. |
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Actually, [bigs] old buddy, we use Eppendorfs these
days. |
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But that's by the by. I am acquainted with the need
for and even the benefits of advertising. But given
that I find perpetual requests for feedback (which is
not quite the same as advertising) irritating, is it
possible that they are not as helpful to product sales
as you imagine? |
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Well, if there's foie gras involved then that's fine by
me. God but I love foie gras. |
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This is why I never give positive feedback. Too much risk to
blow out the microphone or speakers. |
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But nobody asked for feedback on the foie. Now I
feel like an undervalued stakeholder. Which reminds
me, was it you who sent the free stakes? |
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Whoa. Hold it _right_ there. You appear to be
talking about _pate de_ foie gras. We are most
definitely at angry dolphins here. |
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// About now you should be getting a craving for an expensive related brand glass shower cubicle, a mobile phone with a toughened screen or some new double glazing. // |
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Shades of "The Tunnel under the World" by Fred Pohl (q.v.) |
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I don't bloody bebloodylieve it! I have just had a
phonecall, at a time when all civilised people are
enjoying pre-dinner cocktails, from Jaguar asking me
if I was satisfied with my recent customer
experience. The man then told me that I would also
be receiving an email feedback form, and could I
please be sure to give the same answers on that as I
did on the phone. |
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I bet this doesn't happen with Aston Martin. |
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Ian's lovely anno & the associated feedback anno's chime nicely with my view of the effect that computers, & computer surveys in particular, have had on the world. Shades of grey are no longer of relevance, it seems. Nowadays you either like or dislike everything & everyone. You can't quite like bits of something but not other bits. You have to fit nicely into some pre-determined pigeon-hole or series of pigeon-holes invented purely for the purpose of a) allowing a computer to be used in compiling & storing the results of a survey & b) ensuring that your answers don't stray into realms of discomfort for the compilers of the survey. I have never yet seen a presentation of survey results that, for instance, paid any attention whatever to anything that people had put in a 'comments' section (if there was one). In fact, people who respond to surveys rarely put anything in the comments section anyway because they know that you're not really interested in their opinion at all. You just want them to fill out your bloody survey & piss off!
That got a bit ranty there, didn't it! Back when I were a lad there were a lot less surveys & everyone was much happier etc, etc.
On a more positive note, the best survey form I've ever come across is the halfbakery. No fancy graphs, no boxes to tick, just unvarnished opinions all the way to the bottom of the page. Someone should give it a bloomin' award! |
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// Shades of grey are no longer of relevance, it seems // |
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... unles you get the book deal, and a percentage of the gross on the movie rights ... |
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// from Jaguar asking me if I was satisfied with my recent customer experience. // |
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We presume you were. After all, it ate almost all of the Jehovas's Witness, including most of the leaflets. The hyenas have always tended to leave the shoes and the overcoat. Until the Intercalary's project to back-breed velociraptors from real estate agents pays off (after all, it's only three or four generations) then the jaguars seem a pretty good option. The alligators were good, but keeping their pond heated in the colder months didn't justify the expense. |
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//The Cognitive Style of Powerpoint// I have read that
article, and can smugly claim that I have never yet
delivered a bullet point style lecture. (in fact I only use
Keynote) I have run projects with my students where they
generated creative presentations that undermine the
medium, an idea originated by the totally excellent David
Byrne. I have also made several artworks that are about
feedback/response. I'll post one later in the links. |
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//Which reminds me, was it you who sent the free
stakes?//Eh, sorry about that. I may have encouraged some
of your staff with an essay comparing you to Vlad the
Impaler. I thought you would be flattered but then someone
watched a movie apparently based on the life of the fine
gentleman and things went downhill from there. On the
upside sales of
garlic in my store went up 500% |
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// //The Cognitive Style of Powerpoint// I have read that article, and can smugly claim that I have never yet delivered a bullet point style lecture.// - excellent! - and I like the idea of Powerpoint presentations that undermine the medium. Some of the most effective presentations I've done have been just presentations of photos, full screen, and no text. The photos were loosely related to my talk and reminded me what to say. |
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////The Cognitive Style of Powerpoint// |
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Gets a very poor review in The Jennifer Morgue. Lord knows
what Strossy could make of the Paperclip assistant. |
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Hang on, aren't we providing feedback to your idea? |
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Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - there's a real danger that if all feedback requires feedback on it, and then this feedback requires further feedback, and so on, people's lives become filled with an
ever-increasing volume of feedback provision, no economic activity apart from feeding back on previous feedback becomes possible, civilization collapses, wars, mass migrations and pestilence follow and humanity is wiped from the face of the Earth. |
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6/10, ration card was rejected but at least they didn't rape
me |
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// there's a real danger that if all feedback requires feedback on it, and then this feedback requires further feedback, and so on, people's lives become filled with an ever-increasing volume of feedback provision, no economic activity apart from feeding back on previous feedback becomes possible, civilization collapses, wars, mass migrations and pestilence follow and humanity is wiped from the face of the Earth. // |
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... our work here is done. |
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//6/10, ration card// 6/10 would be a ratio card,
shirley? |
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[MaxwellBuchanan]: ***** - would recommend |
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Funny, whenever an old Max or 8th post pops up from the
past, after reading it I go to give it a bun and I've already
done so, pretty much without fail. |
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