h a l f b a k e r yGetting blown into traffic is never fun.
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This is inspired by those packets of underwear with rolled
up
knickers and the hot towels you get in restaurants. It
consists of a machine gun with a rotary barrel in which bra
and knicker sets are stored, rolled up, in alginate
containers
for environmental friendliness. After you've worn
your
underwear, you drop it into a hopper where it gets
laundered
and air-dried in a dedicated washer/hot air dryer. There
are
also washing powder and algal gloop hoppers and the gun
is
plumbed into the bedroom water supply, possibly in an en
suite bathroom A system then selects a bra and knickers,
folds and rolls them and simultaneously prepares tubes of
alginate, into which the rolled underwear is inserted, and
heat-sealed before being loaded into the magazine.
When one requires underwear, one presses a button on the
remote or gets someone else to pull the trigger on the gun,
which uses high explosive to heat and fire the underwear
at
you. You then bite off the end of the packet, eat the
container, which is laced with extra nutrients to get you
going on your breakfast, and you don the underwear.
Useful for large families and the morning after a massive
orgy.
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//those packets of underwear with rolled up knickers and the
hot towels you get in restaurants// I have never, ever, ever
eaten in a restaurant that gives out packets of underwear.
I'm not sure I would. |
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Possibly in Patpong in Bangkok... |
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But I have a question: is the underwear as hot as the hot towels you get in restaurants? I fear that may be too hot for wee calum to bear. |
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The alginate is strong in this one - so much so, I think
disposable, alginate underwear should emerge as the
dominant notion. Machine-gun schmachine-gun, when
there's the option of disposable algae oe even kelp-based
hosiery on offer, who can fail to be intrigued? |
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" Useful for large families and the morning after a massive orgy "... |
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Why a machine gun? Do you wear more than one at
a time? |
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I envisage a coordinated turntable occupied by a ring of
nakor. |
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Yes, italo is actually exactly right. This is a very italo
weapon. "Hey Hey Guy" specifically. |
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Isn't this taking admiring 'fan'aticism too far. |
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//inspired by those packets of underwear with rolled up knickers and the hot towels you get in restaurants//
This isn't on the menu of any restaurant that I've visited recently. Is this a Japanese thing? It sounds like it could be.
Is it a starter, main course or what? And what kind of a sauce is it served with?
//large families and...a massive orgy.//
I'm told that this is how they keep the wages low at the Rentisham's factory. |
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This idea should be FULLY BAKED.
I award you One Fresh Bun. [+] |
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//I'm told that this is how they keep the wages low at the
Rentisham's factory// Au contraire. Rentisham's has one of
the oldest employee welfare systems in England. Wages
have
always been substantially higher than those in comparable
industries, and the original Rentisham's factory was
surrounded by a village built specifically for the employees,
modelled on that of Cadbury's. We also have no mandatory
retirement age, and indeed our chief gacker is now in his
mid-
80's and still going strong. |
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Regarding this idea, though, if it involves alginate sabots,
why not simply paint the entire genital region with alginate
and then set it with a quick misting of calcium chloride? |
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Would that be the same calcium chloride of which "main
hazards: irritant" (wikipedia)? |
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Yes, and the same calcium chloride that's used as a food
additive. It's an irritant as a dry powder. |
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... a food additive which "tenderizes meat". And once the
misting had settled, wouldn't the residue tend to become a dry
powder? |
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I suspect that the classification of calcium chloride as an
irritant is in the same vein as the MSDS that lists water as
hazardous by inhalation. |
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UPDATE: I just checked the Federal Register MSDS for water.
Amongst the many precautions, it advises in the event of skin
contact: "Wash hands and other exposed areas with mild soap
and water before eating, drinking or smoking and when
leaving work." |
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But I'm sure, if I keep this up long enough, it will *become* an
irritant. |
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