h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In, out, in, out
you shake it all about
You do the (
You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In, out, in, out
you shake it all about
You do the ( You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In,
out, in, out
you shake it all about
You do the ( You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In, out, in, out
you shake it all about
You do the ( You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In, out, in, out
you shake it all about
You do the ( You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In, out, in, out
you shake it all about
You do the ( ...)))
and so on and so forth until you return to pick up your toddler from nursery and find them sweatslick and stick-thin, unable to communicate other than with pleading, glassy looks, your horror at the alarmingly still bodies littering the floor like Lego offset somewhat by relief that your own bairn has more fight in him.
Hoken Coken
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hokey_Cokey
[calum, Apr 12 2010]
Wikipedia: The Song That Never Ends
http://en.wikipedia...ong_That_Never_Ends
Infinitely recursive children's song. [rcarty, Apr 12 2010]
James Finlayson
http://en.wikipedia...iki/Jimmy_Finlayson
D'oh! [DrBob, Apr 13 2010]
Do you wonder about the meaning of it all?
http://existentialcrisis.net/
[DrBob, Apr 14 2010]
Londo Mollari analyses the Hokey Cokey
http://www.youtube....watch?v=-xwhqum4ZXw
"I swear to you, it doesn't mean a thing!" [DrBob, Apr 14 2010]
Forth
http://en.wikipedia...ogramming_language)
Useful ... [8th of 7, Apr 14 2010]
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Can you still cheat at this by adjusting your stack size in advance? |
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The concern I have with this version of the song, is that nobody will ever find out what it's all about. |
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//nobody will ever find out what it's all about.// I shouldn't
post an anno just to praise someone else's, but: that was
truly inspired. |
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I shouldn't post an anno II: just to praise someone else's anno
they shouldn't have posted :II |
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Isn't this going to lead to children with massively over-developed right legs and thus, inevitably, to a severe shortage of decent left-sided midfielders and so condemn the rest of the UK to suffering another 10 years of listening to the English moaning about how Ryan Giggs isn't really Welsh? |
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I crashed my toddler. Now he's asleep. |
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[DrBob] Yes, unless you demand that all recursive songs should come in chiral pairs, so, in this case, there would be an equal number of people putting their right foot in as their left foot. |
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//there would be an equal number of people putting their right foot in as their left foot.//
[Nods in agreement then does huge double-take of James Finlayson proportions]
There's something just not quite right about that sentence hippo.
[Thinks about it some more - probably far too much]
Apart from the slightly awkward grammar, there is an interesting logical issue. If you think about it, you could end up with some people putting both feet in, whilst others would put no feet in which would lead to classroom dissent, chaos and anarchy whilst still satisfying the 'equality' requirement. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or not but it is definitely a thing. |
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[Ian] yes, unless infinity is an odd number, in which case it'd still be unbalanced.
[DrBob] You're right - in order to comply with disability legislation (DDA, 2005) the song should allow some people to put no feet in. |
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Yes, someone really should update all the old nursery rhymes to bring them within the boundaries of current social norms, legislation and levels of inoffensiveness. As if girls are afraid of spiders these days... |
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You (the "Hokey Cokeyer"), are entitled but not bound, at the time the song the Hokey Cokey (the "Song") mandates (the "Relevant Time"), to do each of the following:
(i) put the body part of your choice in; then
(ii) put the body part of your chouce out; then
(iii) repeat actions (i) and (ii) above, in order, twice; then
(iv) shake the body part of your choice all about; then
(v) repeat steps (i) to (v) inclusive
provided that the body part chosen in respect of the first implementation step (i) is used, to the exclusion of all other body parts, in respect of all iterations of steps (i) to (v) inclusive. |
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In the event that the Hokey Cokeyer elects not to carry out steps (i) to (v), the Hokey Cokeyer shall be required to sit nice until the earlier of Hometime (as defined in the terms and conditions relating to the provision of nursery services) or intervention by a member of the emergency services. |
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Is this really what it's all about? |
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(Wonders why this fine idea hasn't been ripped a new one by
the mfds? Is Jutta on Spring Break? Where are the attack
dogs? Did they test for flaws in the idea and never come out of
the recursion? Are they discouraged that Halfbakery has gone
into anarchy?) OH MY GOD! THE HOKEY COKEY
RECURSION DEATH
MARCH! |
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Yeah, no, it is a life lesson, though one that is consciously apparent only to the survivors some time after they start the downward slide into their useless decrepitude (i.e. 30 years old): you repeat the same acts over and over for the first "half" of your adult life, imagining that when you reach the apex of your four score and ten, the repetition will, Miyagi-like, reveal itself to be, in fact, an ancient technique of induction into the mysteries of life and you will, simply by continuing the downward half of the dance, become enlightened and happier, achieving total consciousness just as you pass the final rah-rah-rah and slide into death. This is the lie that the HCRDM reveals, that there is no apex, there is no earned free-wheel downhilling towards the last closed bracket of recursion, just a continual repetition of largely meaningless activities, with and to no end, no enlightenment. |
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Would be easier to implement in Forth. |
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It's hard to think sbout thst whilst Hokey Cokeying. Very nicely
writ, calum. |
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