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It will soon be time for another round of cringemaking Santa Claus ideas so it's best to get the most dreadful ones in there first, and what could be more dreadful than Santa Claus with a nice Hitler moustache instead of that boring old white beard?
If he pays a visit, just don't ask him anything
about Russia.
Ho Ho Ho
(this idea is 8th's Christmas present)
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Annotation:
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Very 2020. But what of Rudy the leaky lawyer? |
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I wonder what will be inside the presents? |
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Mince-pie flavoured croissant for [xen]. |
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<Starts squeezing present in hope that it contains an original Panzer VI complete with accessories/> |
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Don't disappoint us, xen. Put some effort into him. Does
Hitler Claus have a sleigh, or a Kubelwagen? Does he drink
spiked egg nog, or is he a teetotaler? Are the children
watched by the Stasi? Do Jewish children get clothing with
stars to wear? Does Hitler Claus go around saying 'Merry
Kristallnacht?' Did he ever try to paint his gifts? |
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He travels in an armoured train with its own 20mm FlAKvierling defences. |
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He is a vegetarian teetotaler. Be careful about what's in the mince pies, and definitely no sherry. |
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Aryan children are trained in their HJ and BDM meetings to spy in one another and denounce dissidents to the Gestapo, until they are old enough to join the SS. |
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Jewish children do indeed get clothing with stars on them; interestingly, though obviously used, the clothing is entirely free of fleas and lice, and has a faint odour of almonds. |
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He wishes his recipients "Good Yule". |
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He no longer paints presents himself because the drugs make his hands tremble. |
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