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Zombies are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to shopping, which is why most of the undead simply go with the flow and eat peoples brains.
I propose constructing a special shopping cart that can be controlled by someone who keeps their rigor mortis infested arms straight out in front of them.
Through the use of robotics and voice recognition software, the zombie can easily navigate through the shopping center giving voice commands to the cart (in the form of grunts and other low guttural sounds) that will then indicate what he is after. For example, the command "Grrunggh!" at the produce section will place one head of lettuce into the cart.
Once zombies realize their needs can be met without feeding on people in the night, they can live a more normal un-life.
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I don't think he said 'of lettuce'. |
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I have been pondering the hunger of zombies for brains. Given that the only way to destroy a zombie is to destroy the brain, one might predict that a recently dead human would not reanimate as a zombie if his or her brain had been fed on. If zombies hungered for, say, pancreas, one would not expect pre-reanimation feeding to hinder the process. Perhaps the brain-feeding trait has been selected as a means to control the zombie population. |
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//rigor mortise// - an especially strong carpentry joint? |
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This idea rocks and rolls in its grave. |
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Dang, [hippo] I misspelled rigor mortis... fixed! |
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Here, have a brain... sorry, bun. |
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