h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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High Fives
Delicious* processed meat in a fun shape. | |
I’m a bit late in the day with this idea but I thought it was worth posting anyway. Basically these are pre-cooked sausages but the shape and size of a human forearm and hand (perhaps the skins could be shaped using the same machine that makes rubber 'Marigold' gloves), fingernails are optional. Ideal
for Halloween feasting or using as a convenient distraction to zombies in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Mycoprotein based, veggie option available although this would be rather less effective in the zombie apocalypse scenario, I suspect.
*Note: Obviously I don't really think it would be delicious; that would ruin my vegetarian credentials, but I am prepared to lie for the sake of improved market penetration.
William F. Bear, yesterday
http://www.6foot6.c...llyBearSausage2.jpg
[calum, Dec 20 2010]
minus the hand
http://pictures.aug...ges/finger_food.jpg
[xandram, Dec 20 2010]
cutting the fingers
http://www.google.c...0,s:76&tx=107&ty=33
[xandram, Dec 20 2010]
A "Hi - Fifth"
Blatantly_20Idiotic...ctions_20for_202011
[normzone, Dec 20 2010]
Resident Evil promo.
http://craphound.com/images/NPP_7543.jpg
[DrBob, Sep 28 2012]
Carmina_Burana
http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Carmina_Burana
[normzone, Oct 02 2012]
Severed head loaf
severed_20head_20loaf
Why stop at arms? [nomocrow, Oct 02 2012]
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I forsee difficulties in getting the arm and fingers both properly cooked - the arm will be a lot thicker and take longer to cook. If this was just a severed hand it would probably work better. Any other roughly sausage-shaped body part would work well too... |
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//other roughly sausage-shaped body part //
Did you have anything specific in mind, hippo? |
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It could be assembled after it was cooked...? |
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Or, finger fish - fish shaped breaded fingers. |
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I do like the idea of just a hand. If you made it
roughly the same size as a slice of bread, you could
make handwiches. |
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"They're finger-lickin' good!" |
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And running through the processed meat limb, billy bear faces or "Blackpool" or messages full of grim, familiar detail such that if they come not from beyond the gossamer veil between the living and the dead, then surely there is malfeasance afoot. |
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Comte de Frou-Frou: Oh how I would love that. I hate this life; the food is filthy! This huge sausage [points to his dinner] is very suspicious. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a— |
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Blackadder: Yes, yes, all right. |
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You had me at: "Delicious processed meat in a fun shape." |
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In this politically correct world eating a processed meat product is a small act of rebellion and fun meat products doubly so. I remember as a kid in the 60s seeing a bunch of smelly hippies chasing the midget driver of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile chanting slogans against corporate weiner shaped car driving midgets and it being very clear in my young mind whose side of this epic battle I was on. |
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I know it sounds like a dream but it actually happened. |
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Side note, not to pedantificate, but and un-processed meat product is an animal that's still walking around. That being said, an enthusiastic [+] |
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OK, that's settled then. It's just a hand. Forget about the forearm.
Jinbish, I think a single piece would be best. A product assembled from multiple components is likely to disassemble at an inconvenient moment and spoil the effect.
//handwiches//
Heh! |
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//handwiches//heh ideedy. (lostdog, you're not lost
anymore!!!) |
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yeah [+] handwiches are good! you can eat them with cheese-toes! |
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If you are pre-cooking the arm-and-hand in your factory, there should be no problem with the varying thicknesses and doneness. |
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You could deepfry with the the fingers down in a cooler layer, fairly easily. Or roll it into a conveyor-belt oven arm-first, then out again fingers-first. Or boil it all to done-ness, then crisp up the skin with a quick fry. Or just cook it any damn way, and accept that the fingers will be crispy-crunchy while the arm is moist. |
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Many people cook people. They might be able to help here. |
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//other roughly sausage-shaped body part // |
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What was that you said about market penetration, [DrBob]? |
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/improved market penetration/ |
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//I am prepared to lie for the sake of improved
penetration.// Don't you just hate being misquoted? |
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Both statements are true, marklar. |
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Woohoo! Baked! I'm so proud. (linky) |
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There is so little creativity in the shapes avilalble for precooked sausages. When I run gurning at you, brandishing your waggling, horrible, delectable invention over my head, I need it to be in slomo with Carmita Burana playing, please. |
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Ah, yes. I can see how you might be confused over the issue of heightiness. To clarify, the height relates not to their altitude above the ground but to the height of good taste which they represent (which is very high indeed). |
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// the Ride of Valkyries... // |
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Not a piece of music by G. F. Hand-el then …
? |
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Just be glad it's not the Librarian … |
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I'm afraid that all mention of classical music and libraries is banned. This is a purely digital idea. |
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Perfect for a thumbnail sketch, then. |
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